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Down to Earth

I have always suspected it, but never had proof. Now I am certain… Chris Rock can’t make movies. And shouldn’t try… EVER again.

Down To Earth star’s Chris Rock as Lance Barton, a comedian who’s hit by a truck and killed before his time. So the boys in heaven send him back to earth as an old white man… I guess they thought it would be funny. Sadly, its not, and the script is every bit as empty and devoid of heart as it sounds.

In his career, Rock has appeared successfully in a large number of films in memorable, and interesting supporting roles. In small doses, Rock has had great silver screen success, and it was only natural that eventually he would parley this into a feature film of his own. But as an actor, Rock is a flop, even though he’s a genius as a comedian.

In the lead role in an hour and a half movie, it takes more than just comic timing and a few good one liners to carry it through, but it looks like that is all Chris has got. Evidently, whoever put this film together knew that, because a surprisingly large part of the film is spent trying to set up situations where Rock can do standup. It is in these moments that he shines… as these are about the only moments in the film where he doesn't look like he's sitting on a toilet trying to drop a big one. But, that shouldn’t be a surprise, since he’s just doing the standup routine, which he has done every night for the past decade. Unfortunately for Rock, and for “Down To Earth”, a standup act is not what the Hobbit or anyone else in the theatre came to see. We came to see a MOVIE, which implies something a little bit more complicated than a guy standing on a stage telling jokes.

Rock tries… and tries hard, but there’s just nothing there. His scenes are flat and devoid of life and he never once wipes that damn smile off his face, even when he’s getting shot in the friggin chest! Apparently Chris can portray any emotion… as long as it’s happy. That damn smile is gonna haunt my dreams, those GIGANTIC white toothies looming out at me, scene after scene after scene. They’re coming for me! Chasing me!!!!

Please Mr. Rock, if you should despoil the world with further future films; at least have the courtesy to do so with your mouth closed.