Kangaroo Jack

Remember when Jerry O’Connell had a future? Remember that great turn he did as the kid in “Stand By Me”? Or the funky towel song in “Joe’s Apartment”? Or even that incredible TV series “Sliders”? You remember, don’t you? That really great, imaginative show that had them sliding from alternate Earth to alternate Earth trying to get back to our Earth? Remember those great movies and shows? I do.

Sadly, that future has now been obliterated by “Kangaroo Jack”. A pratfall and fart joke laden buddy comedy, “Kangaroo Jack” teams Anthony Anderson (Louie) and Jerry O’Connell (Charlie) as a pair with a friendship dating back to the time when Louie saved Charlie’s life when they were both ten years of age.

Now, twenty years later Louis still guilt trips Charlie into every hair-brained scheme and get-rich-quick fiasco, this time ending in disastrous results for Charlie’s mobster stepfather Sal Maggio (Christopher Walken, deliciously evil for his entire five minutes of screen time).

Sal gives them a chance to redeem themselves, telling them to deliver a package to Australia. They find out on the airplane that the package contains $50K of cold, hard cash in one of the best scenes in the movie--set in the airplane bathroom. Fear not; it’s still not worth renting this DVD, even for this scene.

Then the buddies set out in a jeep into the outback to deliver the package to “Mr. Smith”, and instead hit a kangaroo. In a truly disturbing move, Louis dresses the dead kangaroo in his sunglasses and lucky red jacket, package of cash still firmly in pocket, and poses with it for pictures. The kangaroo wakes up and hops off with the money. Oh Gee. Who didn’t see that coming? Doofuses. Or is the plural of DoofusDoofi”? I digress. They’re just not brain surgeon material, these two.

Thus the chase begins. Estella Warren shows up as Jessie, an American expert on Australian wildlife (Don’t ask… I have no clue. I’m still trying to figure out how she manages to look like a Pantene commercial whilst riding a camel through the desert) who tries to help them recover the money while “Mr. Smith” is hot on their tail trying to kill them for stealing his money.

Bill Hunter stands out as an alcoholic bush pilot who steals every scene he’s in. Even when he’s unconscious and drooling on the floor he steals the scene. I’m dead serious.

And how is it that a CGI kangaroo trying to eat a Twizzler™ is funnier than the two “stars” trying to catch him? Or when he finds a Red Hot ™ in the jacket pocket and his eyes water and twitch? Or knocks himself in the snout with a yo-yo? Or does any number of stupid CGI animal tricks?

The movie winds up with a surprise twist. It still isn’t worth renting the DVD for it, though. Tell you what, email me and I’ll tell you the ending if not knowing really, really keeps you awake at night. You’ll thank me.