If you just recently got over a lifelong fear of clowns and you’re still trying to work out the rehabilitation phase, the following videos are not for you. Trust me.



Are you kidding me with this, American Horror Story: Freak Show? For me, clowns don’t get any freakier than Tim Curry’s hysterically frightening performance as Pennywise in the made-for-TV version of Stephen King’s IT. But a lot of that had to do with Curry’s mannerisms and the fact that he killed children. (Georgie!) The clown seen above has no formative performance to speak of, and yet he has still become the only thing I see when I close my eyes now. Must. Keep. Them. Open.

This season of American Horror Story has been touted to have the “most terrifying clown ever” in all of fiction. Granted, real clowns are generally far scarier than movie clowns, but it’s still a big claim to make. Given John Carroll Lynch (Zodiac) is set to play Twisty, the murdering clown, I think it’s safe to assume that the above video (via BloodyDisgusting) isn’t Twisty at all. Does that take away from its inherent terror? Nope. The transition between smiling and frowning is startlingly gross, and makes me want to immediately apply clown makeup to my face and do this same thing in a mirror for hours on end.

And if that wasn’t enough Smiles from Hell for you, how about the other brand new teaser below, via DreadCentral?



Does American Horror Story: Freak Show not have any dentists that can work on these monsters’ teeth? I have no idea what character this is supposed to be. The “black-lipped creature dancing behind the tent while Amanda Janssen’s ‘The Carnival’ plays” character, I guess. Who knows if we’ll see this smile again once the show starts.

Freak Show stars Jessica Lange as Elsa Mars, the head of a carnival freak show, one of the last of its kind in America. Her performers consist of strongman Wendell Del Toredo (Michael Chiklis), bearded lady Effil Darling (Kathy Bates), the physically endowed Desiree Dupree (Angela Bassett) and conjoined twins Bette and Dot (Sarah Paulson). Evan Peters, Denis O’Hare, Jamie Brewer, Gabourey Sidibe, Wes Bentley, Emma Roberts, Finn Wittrock and Patti LaBelle are also starring in various roles.

Fill up your seltzer bottles and find American Horror Story: Freak Show when it debuts on Wednesday, October 8. And remember…CLOWNS!

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