Smallville Recap: Crossfire

Lois makes a mistake by bringing her charming farmboy partner to help her audition for Good Morning Metropolis. The producer picks right up on their not-so-secret chemistry and says that she wants to give both of them a try on the show or Lois doesn’t get the job at all. Clark goes along with this, because he is still trying to repair the wounds he gave her in the past two episodes. Their first assignment is to report on online dating by setting up personal profiles and going on a blind date.

Clark’s date goes better than he or Lois expected. He meets “Mother Teresa in six-inch heels”, according to Lois, who is not doing her best job at hiding her jealousy. She decides to visit Oliver to get a list of things she does that are red flags for a blind date. Oliver finds it hard to come up with anything she does that are dealbreakers(Liz Lemon be damned!). To Clark’s chagrin, Oliver crashes Lois’s blind date and tries to ask her back out again. What Clark doesn’t hear, after Lois goes off-mic, is that she just wants to be friends, and her affections are leaning toward a certain mild-mannered reporter.

Oliver isn’t all about pathetic attempts to woo Lois away from Clark this week. He finds a spunky new sidekick at an underground fight club named Mia. He sees a bit of the dark path he was just walking in her, and wants to help her out. He hooks her up with new clothes and the use of one of his cars. But this girl is still under the mental restraints of a pimp. She brings the pimp, Rick, Oliver’s car in hopes that he will set her free. But Rick now wants to get his hands on Metropolis’s most eligible billionaire bachelor.

After the disastrous blind date, Lois follows Oliver to an alleyway to make sure he isn’t going to slip off the edge again. They get jumped by Rick and his crew. Don’t these people know to stay away from alleyways in Metropolis by now? Anyway, after a big scuffle when Mia tries to stop Rick, Oliver and Lois are able to run up a fire escape to the top of a building. Rick follows and fires his machinegun at Oliver, while Lois thankfully hides her eyes in Oliver’s chest. Yes, Smallville, we love how you use the Scully trick.

Clark, clad in his black supersuit of awesomeness, deflects some bullets with his chest, and melts others as well as the gun with his heat vision. Then, almost begrudgingly, he stops a stray bullet right in front of Oliver’s face. Oh jealousy, how you twist a hero’s heart! He watches from a nearby rooftop as Lois hugs Oliver. Oh the angst! The next day at the Watchtower, Clark tries to talk himself out of being upset but Chloe tells him he should stop putting everyone else first. This is strange, considering that Chloe has been upset at Clark for only thinking about himself and his training with Jor-El, as well as using his temporary mindreading power to woo Lois.

Then again, maybe she was tired of the drama and would rather focus on other things, like hacking into Tess’s computers. Chloe has been trying to get Tess’s information on the Kandorians, but is constantly blocked by Luthorcorp’s hired hacker, Stuart Campbell. She goes through her hundredth firewall, when Stuart sends her a video, telling her to talk to the hand. He even holds his hand up to the webcam, to which Chloe and Watchtower’s supercomputers use to get his fingerprint data and dig up some dirt on him. Man, that girl is good! She meets Stuart in an alleyway and they shake hands. Luckily it was daylight because they were just asking to get knocked out by the butt of a handgun! But, could this be love? I guarantee Stuart is going to gain a geek-crush on Ms. Sullivan in coming episodes.

The most interesting part of this episode would have to be Tess’s storyline. She throws a party celebrating a new partnership with the mysterious R.A.O. Inc in the development of the world’s first self-sustaining solar tower. Apparently, this tower will draw enough solar energy to power Metropolis. Before you can say anything as grandiose about harnessing the power of the sun, the chairman and C.E.O. of R.A.O. Inc, Zod makes his first public appearance. After the party, Tess realizes the tech that R.A.O. was providing was actually Kryptonian. She asks him what he wants from her.

What more does Zod want? Why, Jor-El on his knees, of course! He still believes that the Blur is Jor-El and not his heir. He also knows that Tess is responsible for destroying the blood samples he had of the Blur, so he thinks Tess is protecting him. She offers the Blur’s identity in exchange for Zod’s promise that they will be equal partners. Major Human Racist says no human shall ever hold equal footing with a Kandorian. He tells a Kandorian guard to get the info from her or kill her. Zod is having a gloomy blue-filtered day at the outdoor coffee café when an envelope appears in front of him. It contains the bloody dog tag of the guard. I think Zod is starting to realize that Tess is going to be a bit of a handful.

Nothing much else happens in this episode, so I think we can wrap this recap up with—what’s that? Oh yes, Clark finally mans up and kisses Lois at the Daily Planet. This is no dream. Clark isn’t disguised as the Green Arrow. Lois isn’t about to get knocked out so she forgets it happened. Clark is not wearing his Red K ring. Clark and Lois kissed on Smallville. Nerds everywhere collectively screamed “Noooo! Continuity!” at their TV while shippers everywhere else swooned. Which side do you fall on, dear reader?

I personally was happy to see them kiss. I never thought we would see it happen, but it did. Deal with it, folks. Of course, it might have been nicer if the CW didn’t show the kiss in all of their advertisements this past week. Was anyone really surprised?