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TV Recap: 90210 - Model Behavior

Principal Wilson, Ryan, Donna, Kelly, Druggie Adrianna, and Psycho Stage mom are all having a meeting about the faculty's suspicion that Adrianna is using drugs. Adrianna and her mom make up all sorts of excuses and threaten to sue after Principal Dad tells Adrianna that they'll have to expel her if they find out that she's using unprescribed or illegal drugs. After the Psycho Stage Mom and her drug-addled crotch dropping leave the office, the faculty agrees to keep an eye on Adrianna and see if they can help her.

As Annie is walking the halls, everyone is congratulating her on her performance in last week's school play. Eventually she runs into Ty, who wants to talk to her. She goes into self-righteous mode and refuses to let him even finish a sentence, insisting that he never talk to her again. She's going to feel soooo stupid later! I actually feel bad for date rape boy for all of thirty seconds, then it passes. As Annie storms off, she runs into the druggie and her psycho mom, who - true to form - act totally bitchy to Annie. Dad's right on their heels, though, and asks Annie to be the bigger person.

Debbie's (Mama Wilson) boss is freaking out because his usual back-up photographer has backed out of doing the big Beverly Hills fashion show and he can't find a replacement. Mom suggests that she be his back-up, which really seems only logical to me since she's apparently his assistant or something. He feeds her a line of B.S. about it being too much even for veteran photographers, which really translates into "Bitch, if I wanted you to do it I would have already asked you!", but she eventually gets him into giving her a test run with some models in the studio. I really don't understand why he would employ a photographer in whom he has so little faith, but I guess that's just dramatic plotholes in action.

Naomi's still whining about her parent's divorce to Ethan and begins to hatch a plan to not only break up her dad and his sancha, but get her parents back together. She bails on her dinner plans with Ethan to have dinner with her dad and Gail (la sancha) and the game is afoot. At the dinner, Naomi probes the security of their relationship before "letting it slip" that her parents have slept together since her dad has moved out and Gail pitches a fit.

Phase 1 complete.

Navid's back and pissy about being the third wheel to Dixon and Silver. Silver leaves the two to hug it out while she blogs about Navid's time of the month. Later, Navid suggests a solution to "their" problem by tagging along with Dixon and Silver and having Dixon set him up with Annie. Dixon laughs and tells Navid not to make Dixon drop him in the lunch line.

Ryan tries to set up a date with Kelly and is just about to ask Brenda to babysit when Brenda's phone begins ringing. Dylan's apparently calling Brenda's phone looking for Kelly who walks off with the phone while Brenda gets Ryan caught up with the rest of us on the topic of Kelly's babydaddy. Later, Ryan finds out that Dylan wants Kelly and the midget to come see him in the hopes of resurrecting their relationship. Ryan offers to wait for her to sort it all out and makes a very sweet speech about how he thinks women like Kelly only come once in a lifetime, but Kelly tells him not to wait. A later conversation with Silver shows that Kelly doesn't necessarily think that things will work out with Dylan, but she needs to find out. Anyway, Ryan accepts this, but lobs a parting shot - if Dylan wanted to talk to Kelly, why did he call Brenda's phone.

Kelly later confronts Brenda about this and her tendency to take Kelly's sloppy seconds, though I can't remember who slept with Dylan when, so Kelly may have ended up with Brenda's sloppy seconds or they may have both been humping him at the same time - who knows? Brenda whines that she thought they'd moved past that and her thing with Dylan is long past and even if it wasn't, she wouldn't do anything to endanger Kelly's happiness. They hug it out and Brenda takes off to meet up with Ryan at the fashion show to spy on Adrianna. In her car, Brenda deletes Dylan from her contacts, but sheds a tear as she does so.

Back at school, Ryan's assigning a paper to the class on any industry they find interesting. He forbids Adrianna from writing the paper on herself and asks Annie if the drug-whore can tag along with her to help Debbie with the fashion show and write their paper on that. Annie gives him a disgusted look, but agrees in the spirit of being the bigger person. Adrianna continues being bitchy and says she wants nothing to do with Annie after she stole Adrianna's part. Annie tells her that she had to go on since she was her understudy, but Adrianna didn't have to sleep with Ty, but she's helping her out since she's actually a decent person.

Dixon's also assisting Debbie at the photo shoot and Silver is tagging along. While Debbie's boss is bragging to the show's sponsor about Debbie's talent like he wasn't trying to blow her off earlier, the sponsor spots Silver and tries to talk her into becoming a model. Silver blows him off, but the idea begins to fester in her mind until that night at the fashion show.

....which brings us to the fashion show, where all plotlines come together.

Adrianna and Annie bump into a woman who recognizes Annie from the school play. The woman is producing a horror movie and was so impressed by Annie's performance that she wants Annie to read for a part. Annie introduces the woman to Adrianna who points out that they met at Sundance a few years ago. The woman mentions that Adrianna played a part in a short at Sundance that year, but seems to have dropped off the map since then. Annie jumps in to point out that she was actually Adrianna's understudy and if Adrianna hadn't "gotten sick" that night, the woman would have seen Adrianna in that part. The woman then asks both girls to come in and read for her.

Adrianna appreciates Annie helping her out like that and admits that she didn't sleep with Ty and that he wasn't even in the room. Adrianna apologizes, thinking that makes everything okay, but it obviously doesn't and Annie storms off.

When Annie runs into the adults and tells them that she can't deal with Adrianna anymore and that she doesn't know if Adrianna is on drugs, but she wouldn't be surprised, Adrianna overhears and accuses Annie of being a narc. Adrianna storms off and meets up with her dealer to buy some cocaine, something she apparently hasn't tried before. Annie is pissed off because she thinks that her dad asked her to be the bigger person and help Adrianna out so that Annie would spy on Adrianna. He insists that this wasn't his plan, but Annie is pissed that she'll now be labeled a narc.

Annie runs into Ty at the party and tells him what she's found out. Ty is ready to give it another try, but Annie realizes that she's not ready for sex or anything at that level and just wants to be friends. Ty accepts, biding his time for a date rate opening.

Phase 2 of Naomi's plan to get her parents back together consists of inviting her mom to come to the fashion show with Ethan and her under the pretense of meeting hot single guys and then luring her dad there to see how good her mom looks and get jealous over her flirting with other guys in the hopes that he will leave Gail to come back to her mom. As you might expect, the plan fails miserably. Both parents yell at Naomi and insist that she accept that the marriage is over. After Naomi storms out of the show, she talks with Ethan about not accepting that some relationships just aren't meant to be and both realize that it really is over between them.

So, just when you thought the Ethan/Annie tension was over, they're both single again! Feel the excitement! ZzzzzzzZZzzzzz

Silver meets the show sponsor and talks with him some more about modeling. After some discussion, the guy suggests that they go back to his house and discuss Silver's "world domination in [his] hottub". Silver points out that she's underage and not interested, but the date rape sponsor doesn't care and keeps coming on to her. When Dixon overhears and pulls the guy off of Silver, he calls for security, but Debbie comes running up saying that Dixon's her son. The man sneers and asks who the "baby daddy" is, to which Dixon replies with a right cross and beats the crap out of the guy. When the fight's broken up, the douchebag tells Debbie's boss that his "protege" just lost him his biggest client. Debbie thinks she's going to be fired, but her boss says that life is too short to be dealing with douchebags and she's too talented to lose.

Brenda and Ryan spend the night flirting until Ryan offers to give her a ride home, so maybe Brenda does enjoy Kelly's sloppy seconds and rebounds.

Speaking of Kelly, she's taking a two-week vacation to meet up with Dylan, so this may be the last time we see Jennie Garth on 90210, but first she agrees to let Silver stay at her house to "take care of the plants" and whatnot, continuing the similarities to Dylan.

So next week, it looks like Naomi will get caught holding drugs for Adrianna. Will the dope fiend let Naomi take the fall? My money's on "Hellz yeah, pass the crack pipe bitches!"