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Tonight’s Office lesson: When trying to distract Michael, just do a Fonzie impersonation! We finally got a new episode of The Office and though it’s March already, is it ever really too late to do a Valentine’s Day episode? Kind of. But I was too excited to have The Office back to care all that much that the theme of the ep centered on “Cupid’s Birthday.”
“Ey!” - Jim, Pam, Dwight and Michael.
The episode begins with Pam demonstrating how she’s willing to lie in order to keep her job secure. Apparently there’s a phone salesman that’s been trying to get a hold of Michael so he can dazzle him with a phone system that will make using the phone at Dunder-Mifflin much easier. The problem for Pam is that this new phone system does about 90% of what her job entails. In these trying times, it wouldn’t be good for Pam to find herself on the unemployment line so she’s been lying to the guy in order to keep him from meeting Michael. When it seems like she’s out of excuses, Jim steps in to introduce himself as Michael and explain that they’re not interested in the phone system. When Michael spots the man standing at reception, he approaches him to introduce himself but Jim intercedes and throws out a random Fonzie-ish “Ey!!!” This prompts Michael to repeat the phrase and before long Pam and Dwight are doing it too. The phone guy doesn’t know what to make of it and leaves. Mission accomplished. Ey!
It’s Valentine’s day and while Jim and Pam are celebrating their one and only Valentines as fiancés, most of the rest of the office is bummed because they’re single. This includes Kelly, who only got a Valentine from her dentist reminding her she’s due for a cleaning. Michael invites all the singles to mope around the conference room talking about their worst breakups. Meanwhile, Michael’s got his mind on the cute woman he met while “transferring bodily fluids” at the local blood drive. She left after he passed out (that’s what you get for not eating for three whole days before giving blood, Michael!) leaving behind one glove.
“Lonely people mixing with one another? Breeding? Creating an even lonelier generation? You’re not allowing natural selection to do its work. Pfff. You’re like the guy who invented the seat belt.” - Dwight on the singles mixer.
Michael decides the best way to find the mystery blood-donor is to lure in as many singles from around the office park as he can by throwing a mixer. Kevin’s still getting over his breakup with Stacey but he meets a nice woman named Lynn who seems to like him. Then he sort of spazzes out talking about Stacey and walks away from her. He later goes back to her and explains that he gets nervous around pretty women and shows Lynn how sweaty his palms are. This charms Lynn and Kevin is happy to learn that she’s “on email” when she gives him her card.
Meanwhile, Dwight meets a cute blonde and while she seems interested in him, he’s more interested in selling her paper. After he drones on about Dunder Mifflin paper, she gets bored and gets up to leave. When she refuses to sign a contract to buy paper, Dwight calls her an idiot. And the blood-donor who lost her glove never shows up at the mixer. It’s all for the best, though. We know Holly’s the only one for Michael!
“It’s so sexy it becomes hostile” – Dwight on Pam and Jim’s relationship.
Since Michael makes it clear that Jim and Pam’s happiness on V-Day is unwelcome, the engaged couple agree to go have a long lunch at with Phyllis and Bob Vance. Since Michael is “terrified of Bob” they don’t even have to worry about squeezing the lunch into an hour and it’s a good thing too because Bob and Phyllis take a time-out from lunch to go enjoy a little alone time in the handicap bathroom at the restaurant. Pam and Jim don’t want to be rude and start eating without them. The problem is, they ordered cold food and according to Jim, the rule is that you can only eat while the rest of your party is away from the table if your food is hot. Since Bob’s food is hot, they proceed to pick off his plate while he and Phyllis are “using the bathroom.”
Enough time passes and Jim and Pam decide to go check the bathrooms. When they don’t find them in the regular bathrooms, they put their ears up against the door to the handicap bathroom and that’s when they find out what Bob and Phyllis are up to. Needless to say, the rest of their lunch is awkward and neither Jim nor Pam are all that hungry when Bob and Phyllis come back.
What else did we learn in tonight’s episode?
Andy put down a bunch of deposits for various honeymoons and now he’s off spending time doing couples things by himself.
Andy and Dwight’s duel in the parking lot wasn’t the first time Angela had two guys fighting over her.
Dwight trained his major blood vessels to retract into his body on command. Also, he can retract he penis up into itself.