Before Spike’s Lip Sync Battle began, I never thought that a show about lip syncing would have as much sex appeal as most shows on premium cable. But that’s how it goes when Anna Kendrick is rocking her booty and Anne Hathaway is riding a wrecking ball. This week’s episode featured the musclebound Terry Crews going shirtless for a rousing rendition of Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles,” so all your arguments are invalid today.
This is really about as glorious as it gets, with the always self-aware Crews winning the crowd over from the very first piano notes. He pops and jerks his way through the beginning before hitting the chorus, for which he tosses his jacket off and gets his dance on with the rest of the performers. And if his twirls weren’t enough, we even get ribbon dancing worked into the act. And that leg!
I gotta say, Crews’ ribbon skills are nearly as good as his pec-bouncing skills. I’m pretty sure a breeze comes off of his pecs when he does that. How have they not replaced fossil fuels yet?
Crews fans were probably especially glad to see him take on this song for his Lip Sync Battle performance, as it’s the same song he sang along with during one of the funnier scenes in the Wayans’ brothers White Chicks. Relive that scene below.
It’s not like Crews was the only buff performer on stage for this episode, either. Iron Mike Tyson came out with a particularly energetic version of Salt-N-Pepa’s ”Push It,” during which his crotch had the thrust of something taking off from Cape Canaveral. All in all, it's not a bad rendition, and he's certainly dressed the part, assuming the part was meant for a cross between West Side Story and The Warriors, as written by Mike Tyson.
And it all ends up in this pose, which will certainly haunt you and your children’s nightmares if you allow it.
Next week's episode will feature former NFL great Michael Strahan going up against Today co-host Hoda Kotb, which should be interesting. Luckily, the show was recently renewed for a second season, which will get a whopping 20 episodes. More Terry Crews! More Terry Crews!