Breaking news: Teenagers like vampires. They also like Ashton Kutcher (I guess even they can’t tell how old he is) and, somewhat surprisingly, they like Sherlock Holmes. I didn’t see that one coming.

The Teen Choice Awards air tonight on Fox but, presumably because they know that no one in the media is going to watch them, they’ve sent out a press release revealing all of the evening's winners. The awards are meaningless, but if you’re wondering what the kids are in to these days, or at least what Fox’s advertisers are trying to tell them they’re into, then here’s everything you need to know. The complete list of 2010 Teen Choice Award winners follows.

Choice Movie: Action Adventure
“Sherlock Holmes”

Choice Movie Actor: Action Adventure
Channing Tatum, “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”

Choice Movie Actress: Action Adventure
Rachel McAdams, “Sherlock Holmes”

Choice Movie: Sci-Fi
“Avatar”

Choice Movie: Liplock
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”

Choice Movie: Fight
Mia Wasikowska vs. The Jabberwocky, “Alice in Wonderland”

Choice Movie: Hissy Fit
Miley Cyrus, “The Last Song”

Choice Movie: Chemistry
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”

Choice Movie: Male Breakout
Liam Hemsworth, “The Last Song”

Choice Movie: Female Breakout
Taylor Swift, “Valentine's Day”

Choice Movie: Male Scene Stealer
Kellan Lutz, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”

Choice Movie: Female Scene Stealer
Ashley Greene, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”

Choice Movie Actor: Sci-Fi
Sam Worthington, “Avatar”

Choice Movie Actress: Sci-Fi
Zoë Saldana, “Avatar”

Choice Movie: Fantasy
“The Twilight Saga: New Moon”

Choice Movie Actor: Fantasy
Taylor Lautner, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”

Choice Movie Actress: Fantasy
Kristen Stewart, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”

Choice Movie: Drama
“The Blind Side”

Choice Movie Actor: Drama
Robert Pattinson, “Remember Me”

Choice Movie Actress: Drama
Sandra Bullock, “The Blind Side”

Choice Movie: Romantic Comedy
“Valentine’s Day”

Choice Movie Actor: Romantic Comedy
Ashton Kutcher, “Valentine’s Day”

Choice Movie Actress: Romantic Comedy
Sandra Bullock, “The Proposal”

Choice Movie: Comedy
“Date Night”

Choice Movie Actor: Comedy
Ashton Kutcher, “Killers”

Choice Movie Actress: Comedy
Tina Fey, “Date Night”

Choice Movie: Horror/Thriller
“Paranormal Activity”

Choice Movie Actor: Horror/Thriller
Leonardo DiCaprio, “Shutter Island”

Choice Movie Actress: Horror/Thriller
Megan Fox, “Jennifer’s Body”

Choice Movie: Animated
“Toy Story 3”

Choice Movie: Villain
Rachelle Lefevre, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon”

Choice Movie: Dance
Sandra Bullock and Betty White, “The Proposal”

Choice Summer Movie
“The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”

Choice Summer Movie Star: Male
Robert Pattinson, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”

Choice Summer Movie Star: Female
Kristen Stewart, “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse”

Check out all the Teen Choice Television winners right here.