Another Clue Movie?

By Josh Tyler 2008-02-21 02:49:07discussion comments
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Universal Pictures has cut a deal to make movies based on Hasbro toys, and unfortunately weíre not talking about the upcoming G.I. Joe movie or another spin-off of Transformers. Instead, Variety says the properties they may be movie-making are Clue, Candy Land, Ouija, Battleship, Magic: The Gathering, and Stretch Armstrong.

Now a movie based on Clue could be pretty good, and it was back when they did it in 1985. The resulting film is (at least in my house) a total classic, and even if you take Rocky Horror into consideration, Tim Curryís finest hour. Itís genius. Itís been done. It doesnít need to be done again. As for the rest, there are plenty of horror movies about Ouija boards, Battleship ought to be just another naval movie, and if they actually make a movie based on those awful card battle games Iím going to have to kick someoneís ass. I guess I could see making some sort of kidís movie out of Candy Land, but I canít picture it as anything except a sugary version of Jumanji.

The only one with any real potential in there is Stretch Armstrong, and there have been rumors that Hollywood might turn the stretchy doll into some sort of movie for years now. It seems perfect for Jim Carrey circa 1995, so maybe if they stick it in a time machine and blast it back to the 90s itíll finally get done.

Luckily, itís not a sure thing that all of those properties will become movies. It may only be four of them. The deal says theyíre determined to make at least four movies out of Hasbroís properties. One of those will be Monopoly, which Ridley Scott is inexplicably developing. I really really hope one of the four is not Clue. The original movie is already perfect, Iíd to have it supplanted by another boring remake. I mean, sure a Magic: The Gathering movie would be lame, but at least it wouldnít be a remake.

Screw this mess, Iím going home to sleep with my wife.
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