Lindsay Lohan: Celebrity Hunter

Lindsay Lohan hosts Saturday Night Live.
(Image credit: NBC)

If you’re Lindsay Lohan, getting work can’t be easy. Her public persona is that of a crazy drug addict and a thief. Whether or not that’s true probably doesn’t matter, her film resume isn’t really good enough to get her parts in spite of all the negative things people believe she’ll bring to the set. How long before she gets desperate? How long before she vanishes entirely from the public consciousness? How long before she starts doing porn? Not quite yet, though maybe this project could be the one to push her over the edge.

A rumor being spread by Radar Online indicates that Lohan is set to star in a new movie called Escaping the Game, about celebrities dealing with fame by faking their own deaths and hiding out on a secret island. Frankly, it sounds pretty ridiculous. I'm suddenly picturing Land of the Lost but with Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts impersonators in place of the Sleestacks. It'll probably be nothing like that.

The film’s producer, Nathan Folks, say the movie would have Lohan playing a detective investigating the disappearances of the world’s famous. I guess you can expect to see her hot on the trail of Paris Hilton. If this movie really happens, it’ll be Lohan’s first starring role this side of rehab… assuming she doesn’t go to jail first.

Here’s a better idea: Have Lindsay play dual roles as both the detective, and herself, a real life Lindsay Lohan hiding out on the island. After all, Lindsay in dual roles worked so well for I Know Who Killed Me. Wait, no it didn’t. Whoops. Instead of talking to herself, she’ll have to play off model turned actor Chris Zylka, recently cast in The Amazing Spider-Man as Flash Thompson and rumored to be in talks to co-star in Escaping the Game.

Of course it’s all rumor for now. Radar Online’s track record is not exactly stellar, even if they claim to have gotten this straight from one of the film’s producers. It’s worth noting, however, that Lohan did recently tweet about meeting with a future co-star, which could be a confirmation that she’s definitely got something in the works. If you want to read about how terrible it is to be famous, you can check out that tweet here

I’d like this to be the movie that turns it around for Lohan, she seemed to be having a lot of fun in Machete, and it’d be great to see her doing more movies like that. But, here’s what I know about what happens when famous people get in trouble: They start blaming everyone else and before you know it they start suing people and then eventually end up making movies about how tough it is to be a celebrity. That’s usually the last stage in any fall from fame and for Lindsay Lohan, this film sounds like it could be that movie. Right after that it’s usually either fade away into obscurity, or hop on the celebrity sex tape train. I’m rooting for her comeback but, let’s face reality here, which will it be Lindsay?

Maybe she won’t have to choose, maybe those crazy Superman rumors will come true. Yeah, probably not.

Josh Tyler