Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.

Some details of Watchmen have leaked out and it was a battle royale with cheese between Josh and Katey on how the movie should end. Should Zack Snyder have kept the comic book’s ending or was he right to change it up a little bit? The better question is did Ozzy Osborne ever sue the comic book character Ozymandias for copyright infringement, cause that would have been pretty funny.

SATURDAY
Take this sinking ship and point it to NYC….
Ah, the enthusiasm of youth.
They say that one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do, maybe that’s why Once also ended a little lonely for The Guy and The Girl. Or maybe that doesn’t make any sense and is less clever written out than it seemed in my head. Either way, they are going to make a Broadway musical of Once and if that gets more people to watch the excellent film, so much the better. We’re also hoping that Watchman is an excellent film. Most of us are, anyway. Alan Moore isn’t and in a 1987 interview we find that he was excited about a Watchmen movie once in his life. Suprisingly, things have changed since the Ronald Reagan presidency.

SUNDAY
Oh Hollywood, you cold hearted bitch goddess.
Three movies with no connection; one story with barely any words.
Terrence Howard was in this movie about a guy in a metal suit. He won’t be in the next movie because they wanted an even smaller man to play a character called “War Machine.” Perhaps for the third Iron Man movie, they will replace Don Cheadle with one of those little people from that reality show. A real reality show would be to try to connect Pandorum, Cadillac Records, and Edge of Darkness in any way but as being the subjects of a story on this site. “CinemaBlend, we draw connections as randomly as a group of drunk, homeless ranters.” Flows trippingly off the tongue, no?

MONDAY
Nick Fury will not be replaced by Mr. Furious.
Aye, aye Captain Troy Bolton.
Monday is our big sequel day. Actually, we don’t really have a sequel day. I just lazily call whatever day we have a couple of stories about sequels, “sequel day.” That way I don’t have to really think and before I know it, my writing requirement about last week’s news is just one step closer to being done. See? Oh, and one of the above stories is sourced to the “National Enquirer.” Take that how you will.

TUESDAY
The giant squid is just silly, the big, blue, naked, nuclear man makes way more sense.
I am talking a quark of solace from these clips.
Josh and Katey got it on in a platonic and wordy way on Tuesday. One liked the ending of the movie they haven’t seen and the other didn’t. Hopefully when they actually see it, their opinions will not have changed much. But, why wait for that, right? We also aren’t waiting for the actual movie to get all hot and bothered by Quantum of Solace. We’ve got some bad-ass blowin’ shit up clips to watch and that gets us more excited than Josh thinking about a giant killer squid.

WEDNESDAY
Oscar loses weight, or something.
We continue to champion the anti-Twilight.
Katey Rich continues to throw her analysis at what is going on with Oscar races. Based on reading her columns, I realize that I know so little about current movies, I shouldn’t even be allowed to read this site, much less write for it. I do know that Twilight will be out soon. That’s probably why we are doing our best to push a foreign teen vampire movie called Let the Right One In. If there is going to be a teen vampire movie people watch, it should at least be a good one. .

THURSDAY
It’s an exclusively exclusive clip from that movie about porno.
Davey Jones leaves the Caribbean and sucks some blood.
We somehow wrangled an exclusive clip for Zack and Miri Make a Porno. I know it’s exclusive because we use the word “exclusive” in the title of the news item. Also, the introduction by director Kevin Smith uses the “exclusive” word again. He also mentions us practically by name by saying “right here.” I’m sure “on CinemaBlend” was accidentally cut-off. Nothing is getting accidentally cut-off in the next Underworld movie, but a lot of things will likely get cut-off on purpose. Like my will to live if I ever have to watch this movie.

FRIDAY
I pity the fool that pathetically uses Mr. T catch-phrases to title his A-Team link.
Despite the similar title, this has nothing to do with “me love you long time.”
I never watched the A-Team on television. Considering I watched almost every piece of crap going during that period, it says something about how utterly stupid it was. This has nothing to do with the movie being delayed a year or more, but I just wanted to go out of my way to show that I have some standards, no matter how low. Someone with high standards is Kristin Scott Thomas. She took those standards and made a movie that has some Oscar buzz and then she lowered them in order to get interviewed for this site.

That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.