Woman Tries Sex In The Hallway, Gets Head Stuck In Railing

Have you ever felt like trying something weird after repeatedly having sex with the same person the same way for several years? Well, a forty-six-year-old woman in Russia recently had that dirty and fun urge. So, in an effort to “spice things up”, she asked her boyfriend if he wanted to fool around in the hallway of their apartment building. Unfortunately, the basic impulse behind the scheme wound up being the only fun thing about the experience because after the actual act began, the poor woman got her head stuck inside the railing of the stairs.

According to ProNews48, that aforementioned woman’s neighbor opened up the apartment door later in the evening and spotted the woman, completely naked and still stuck inside the railing. The police were phoned, and they headed over immediately to cut the bars of the railing. Fortunately, they were able to do so pretty easily, and the woman was not seriously injured, though no doubt she felt more than a little awkward and probably pissed as hell at her boyfriend.

That’s right. Remember the dude she wanted to “spice things up” with from the beginning of the story? Well, after she got stuck inside the railing, he allegedly just bolted. Not only did he not go run and get blankets or at least provide moral support, he didn’t even call 911 or get help. Instead, he fled like a nervous zebra in the presence of a lion. This poor woman hasn’t released any kind of public statement on the matter, but I feel extremely confident this mystery coward will definitely never get hallway sex again and probably won’t even get another kiss from the woman who should soon be his ex-girlfriend.

The allure of potentially getting caught can be quite a turn-on. There are more than a few people who, consequently, like having sex in their cars or in public places. That being said, I’m not sure there’s a single weirdo in the entire fetish community who has ever fantasized about having his or her neck stuck in a staircase railing. That’s weirder than getting stepped on with high heels, getting tied up or getting bossed around. In fact, it makes all the shit in 50 Shades of Grey seem really tame. In some ways, this situation is almost as bad as Ted’s little problem in There’s Something About Mary. Okay, maybe not almost, but it definitely does suck.

The name of the woman involved in this story hasn’t been released for obvious reasons. What we do know is that she is from Lipetsk, Russia. She’s not married, and if you can coax it out of her again, there’s a very wild side in there somewhere beneath all the layers of embarrassment.

Mack Rawden
Editor In Chief

Mack Rawden is the Editor-In-Chief of CinemaBlend. He first started working at the publication as a writer back in 2007 and has held various jobs at the site in the time since including Managing Editor, Pop Culture Editor and Staff Writer. He now splits his time between working on CinemaBlend’s user experience, helping to plan the site’s editorial direction and writing passionate articles about niche entertainment topics he’s into. He graduated from Indiana University with a degree in English (go Hoosiers!) and has been interviewed and quoted in a variety of publications including Digiday. Enthusiastic about Clue, case-of-the-week mysteries, a great wrestling promo and cookies at Disney World. Less enthusiastic about the pricing structure of cable, loud noises and Tuesdays.