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Pachter Thinks Wii U Will Fail, Activision And Zynga Should Team Up

Michael Pachter, analyst and financial guru for Wedbush Morgan Securities, has let loose a string of stinging comments about the gaming industry: the stuff he favors, the stuff he doesn't and all the other things in between. Unsurprising, Pachter railed on Nintendo as usual, pretty much saying the Wii U would be a failure and he thinks that Bobby Kotick and Mark Pincus should tag-team. I shutter at the idea of the greed-boss that Pincus and Kotick would make. has a rundown of Pachter's wild rants from the Digital Game Monetization summit in San Francisco, California, where he talks about various companies and trading options. It's an interesting read but Pachter is borderline insane with some of his quotes -- almost but not quite Jack Thompson crazy.

Most notably, Pachter stated...

“I think you're going to see now with the Wii U, notwithstanding its early launch support, nobody's going to support it,” ...I think when next-gen consoles come out they're going to be better than the Wii U. Call of Duty is amazing on the Wii U this year. The problem with playing Call of Duty online is it's a community and if there's only four people playing it on the Wii U it's no fun. Nobody in their right mind would buy a Wii U and say 'I'm going to play Call of Duty.' That's like saying 'I gave up Facebook, and it's Google+ now'.”

Oh, oh, ohh....that was brutal. That was almost as brutal as Lindsay Lohan's career. Comparing the Wii U to Google+ is pretty harsh, it's like saying Cindy Crawford is equal in beauty to Joan Rivers, or that Obama is about as good an advocate for socialism as Lenin.

Pachter didn't stop there, though. This guy had some more vitriol to spew about the Big 'N', enough to make Reggie's satin underwear with ruffled trimming bunch into a twist, saying...

“Nintendo's trading at about $3 billion of equity value; it was trading at about $80 billion,”...The market hates business models that start to show losses, and start to fail. Crappy little Riot Games, doing $150 million in revenue and wildly profitable, is worth a buttload more than Zynga, doing $1.1 billion and not making money.”

Interestingly enough, Pachter segues this dig at Nintendo into a possible team-up with Bobby “Money Sacks” Kotick and Mark “Money Baller” Pincus. Given Zynga's abysmal financial state, Pachter thinks that the company's assets could prove to be a real profit-generator given their annual intake of revenue. Stating...

“I think the first thing Activision buys is Take-Two, because that fits in very nicely. Activision should buy Zynga - I just don't think Mark Pincus is a seller. I think Zynga has great assets, they have really good franchises, they have a ton of revenue, and I think run more efficiently they'd make a ton of money.”

Mark Pincus and Bobby Kotick tag-teaming would be like Hades and Satan double teaming to jump start the apocalypse...or worse yet, it's like George W. Bush and Tony Blair stepping back into the picture to come up with a plan to fix the world's economic crisis. In short, every country out there would be poor enough to have to borrow from Africa.

You can read the rest of Pachter's golden nuggets over at

Will Usher

Staff Writer at CinemaBlend.