Every year, millions of people descend on Las Vegas, hell bent on having a damn good time. For some, that involves trying (and usually failing) to take money from the casino. For others, that involves clubbing, getting hammered, seeing Penn and Teller, going to a strip club, and/or screaming VEGAS!!!! at unreasonable volumes. The key to Las Vegas is that it can be damn near anything to anyone. It offers a seventy-two hour or so timeout from real life. Everywhere an observer looks, there are overt signs of tourists having unreasonable amounts of fun.

The latest film to riff off this expectation of fun is Last Vegas. Starring Morgan Freeman, Robert DeNiro, Michael Douglas and Kevin Kline, the PG-13 comedy seems to follow four old dudes who want to turn back the clock and have another misadventure before getting too fucking old for hijinks, I think. I haven’t exactly seen it, but based on the mediocre trailer and the meh minus reviews, I’m pretty confident we’re in for an older quartet working their way through all the Vegas-y things we’ve come to expect and trying desperately not to die. That sounds inoffensive and probably passable enough, but it doesn’t exactly reinvent the wheel.

I want to see a Vegas movie that defies expectations and goes a little stranger (like The Cooler). I want to see one that tackles one of the more secretive, bummer subplots bubbling beneath the Sin City surface and crying out for its own film. I want to see a movie about the one-time gangster paradise that has the courage to tone it down and fixate on the more monotonous and seemingly boring aspects of Las Vegas vacations and local life. I want to see one of these six films.

The Tiredness That Comes With Getting Drunk Too Early
Starring: Dane DeHaan as "Tired" Ted Murphy and Miles Teller and Donald Glover as his very awake, right level of drunk friends Trevor and Salamander.

Going to Las Vegas is a lot like tailgating as a college student before a big football game. There is alcohol everywhere, and without any obligations owed to the real world for at least a day, there is always a temptation to dive in DuckTales style into one of those huge Fat Tuesday's drinks. On the one hand, hitting the bottle early can prove a great way to spice up 11 AM and make afternoon craps games a whole lot less awkward. On the other hand, it can also torpedo your entire night, as our hero Tired Ted discovers when he realizes, much to his horror, that all he really wants to do is go to bed at 9 PM on a Saturday.

Unfortunately, there’s no easy solution to this predicament. His loud, obnoxious and right level of drunk (for Vegas) friends Trevor and Salamander (pronounced SAL-A-MANDDDDDDDER) are planning to go until at least 3 AM, and it’s too late in the game to take a nap. So, rather than hear his sleepiness get referenced for the rest of their friendship, Tired Ted heroically decides to tough it out and plow forward, all while encountering second winds, red bulls and a hooker played by Gabourey Sidibe who claims her sexual energy could wake up coma patients.

Releasing Studio: Universal

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