If Charlie Sheen, er, Carlos Estevez were President, this would be a really strange country. And I’m writing this minutes after the U.S. Government shut down. Anyway, we only have to worry about Estevez showing up as Commander in Chief on screen in Robert Rodriguez’s upcoming insanity-fest Machete Kills. The above clip, via IndieWire, presents just a piece of the radical world that Danny Trejo’s titular character Machete calls home. The (hypothetical) President wants marijuana legalized, and also wants to incorporate Nude Tuesdays into the daily way of life. Aw shit yeah, right? But he wants Twitter criminalized and made punishable by death. Hmm, I still see no problem with this, but I’m betting it would cause more of an uproar than Obamacare.
Judging from the trailers, it doesn’t look like the character of The President has anything to do with anything beyond just hanging around the oval office making bold statements. And if this were a bit on Anger Management, I would have a huge problem with it. Luckily, there are a slew of other things going on with this movie, as well as a couple dozen other guest stars’ appearances to revel in. One of those stars finally got her own character poster, weeks after the others had been released. Check out the poster below from Maxim, which is NSFW if you have a huge weapon fetish.
That would be Amber Heard in her role as Miss San Antonio, which is no real mystery if you actually look at the poster. I’m not even sure who Miss San Antonio is supposed to be, beyond Machete’s weapon dealer. In the poster, she’s holding the “Swiss Army knife of machetes,” and it looks like it could be used to take on the entire Swiss Army. At least, if Machete is the one holding it.
And if those two weren’t awesome enough by themselves, we’ve also got quite a few interesting stills from the film. Carrying on from where we left off a second ago, here’s Heard holding a gun that looks like a tape recorder I had as a kid.
Hopefully you're into women looking like badasses, because here's Michelle Rodriguez' Shé, aiming with her good boob. I mean cleavage. I mean eye.
Not to be outdone, here's the villainous Luthor Voz (Mel Gibson), holding the next iteration of the Magic Bullet blender.
And now here's Mendez the Madman, played by The Bridge's Demian Bichir, with some kind of a Tony Stark contraption over his heart. Or maybe it's just jewelry.
And saving the best man for last, here are two of Trejo, both is killer mode, and in "do you need anymore water?" mode.
Machete Kills comes out on October 11. Be there or be launched into the propellers of the nearest helicopter. Check out the Miss San Antonio clip released last week and the amazing red-band trailer on the bottom.