When it comes to being sexy, vampires used to have the market cornered on alluring movie monsters. Recently that’s begun to change after the release of werewolf themed monster movies which sort of sexualize the hairy beasts. Granted, none of those movies have been any good (Blood and Chocolate/Skinwalkers), but however bad the results might have been, there has been some sort of effort to make werewolves “hot” in that same way that only vampires ever manage to be.
I can’t think of a better way to make werewolves really sexy than to make them hot and horny teenage lesbians. That may be some of what’s happening in the upcoming movie Jack and Diane… at least sort of.
The news comes from First Showing, where they interviewed burgeoning young actresses Ellen Page and Olivia Thirlby. 20-year-old Page recently earned acclaim with her turn in the victim turns the tables on pedophile movie Hard Candy and this year she’s in the film Juno. Thirlby is less well known, but she’s also in Juno and has done movies like United 93.
It seems Ellen and Olivia are in pre-production for a movie called Jack and Diane. The name makes the thing sound like a snooze, but check out IMDB’s plot synopsis: “Jack and Diane, two teenage lesbians, meet in New York City and spend the night kissing ferociously. Diane's charming innocence quickly begins to open Jack's tough skinned heart. But, when Jack discovers that Diane is leaving the country in a week she tries to push her away. Diane must struggle to keep their love alive while hiding the secret that her newly awakened sexual desire occasionally turns her into a werewolf.”
You’re already buying tickets aren’t you? You pervert you.
Except Page and Thirlby say it isn’t about lesbians or werewolves, not really. Page says, “They think it's about lesbian werewolves, and it's not.” Except well, it is. Thirlby adds, “It does happen to be about lesbians and there does happen to be kind of very metaphorical references to werewolves.” Basically it’s a teenage lesbian werewolf movie with just enough snooty, indie-film plot to justify it as more than softcore, fetish erotica. So you can go see it, without worrying about whether you’ll hate yourself in the morning.
If you’re into teenage lesbian werewolves that aren’t teenage lesbian werewolves at all, click over to FirstShowing and read the rest of the interview. From the sounds of things, Jack and Diane is struggling to find financing. To solve that, they might start by changing the title. I’d like to be the first to suggest the obvious. Go with Teenage Lesbian Werewolves girls.