Final Destination returns to theaters this weekend with a whole new slew of increasingly ridiculous deaths to throw at the camera. When this series first started out it was legitimately scary, but somewhere along the way they started having so much fun with creating completely ridiculous death scenes that it abandoned all sense of tension or fear and went for so-insane-it’s-awesome instead. That’s fine by me. Embrace the ridiculous.
So when Final Destination 5 on Friday it’ll add a whole new host of idiotic kills to the franchise’s legacy, but before we get to those, let’s look back on where we’ve been. These aren’t necessarily the best, but they are the most ridiculous Final Destination death scenes so far:
WARNING: The following content is intended for adults only and may contain graphic content. Don’t go any further if you don’t want to see it.
Final Destination | Valerie Lewton's Overly Complicated Demise
Wyle E. Coyote has nothing on Valerie Lewton who accidentally kills herself at least five times before actually dying. And then just for good measure, everything blows up. Overkill? Maybe, but this was the first movie and Death needed to send a message.
Final Destination 2 | Nora Decapitated By Elevator Doors
This reminds me of that scene from Watchmen in which Dollar Bill is killed by his own cape. Except, well, compared to this that's actually more realistic. Ladies, be careful with those braids.
Final Destination 2 | Kat Airbagged To Death
Airbags are supposed to save lives. Unfortunately, the safety device doesn’t take into account the chance that a jagged pipe may be pointed straight at the back of the driver’s head.
Final Destination 2 | Rory Trisected
Kids, second-hand smoke can be just as deadly as puffing on a Marb light. Keep that in mind the next time your friend lights up. You may end up trisected. It could happen.
Final Destination 3 | Erin Gets Nailed
A hardware store really does have the potential to be a carnival of catastrophe. With so many sharp and pointy things around, it’s a wonder Erin managed to survive this ordeal for as long as she did.
Final Destination 3 | Lewis Killed By Gym Rage
With the swords perched not far above Lewis’ head, you’d think they’d be his undoing and while they did play their part, I think muscle-madness was the true catalyst to Lewis’ head being squashed like a grape.
Final Destination 3 | The Ashleys Tan To Death
Finally, a film takes the epidemic of over-tanning seriously and demonstrates how dangerous the habit can be when teens go unsupervised. Rest in overcooked peace, dear Ashleys.
The Final Destination | Samantha Has Her Eye On You
Samantha may not live long enough to see her kids grow up, but it’s a sure bet that they’ll never misbehave again. Give this mother some credit, when she says something to her kids she really means it.
The Final Destination | Andy Flies and Dies
For some reason, all chain-link fences in the Final Destination universe are made out of razor wire. Andy learns this when he re-enacts something previously only ever seen in Saturday morning cartoons (though with far less gory effect).
The Final Destination | Hunt Loses His Ass In A Pool
Whoever designed this pool may have overdone it when it came time to hook up a pump to provide suction. Maybe they were hoping to sink the Titanic, but they captured Hunt’s asshole instead.
Honorable Mention: This one isn’t embeddable but it’s so ridiculous, it deserves to be included. In The Final Destination Carter Daniels is hooked in the ankle, dragged by driverless tow truck, which randomly catches fire, burns, and blows him apart for no reason. It looked a little something like this:
