Too lazy to read all the wonderful news our insightful crew scours the globe to bring you every day? Too outmoded to have an MP3 player for the podcast? Shame on you all! However, being the generous lot we are, welcome to news:blended, your weekly guide to the most interesting stories reported on Cinema Blend over the last seven days.
Who knew Joshua Jackson had so many fans, or really any fans? Certainly not our news staff. We ribbed Joshua for his less than stellar post-“Dawson’s Creek” career and his unsuitability to play the title character in the new Fletch movie and we got an earful from his outraged supporters.
SATURDAY
Lone Saturday story kind of depressing.
Jessica Simpson continues to push for a career in acting. She seems to want Goldie Hawn’s career. That’s not exactly great news because I don’t think Goldie Hawn really wants her own career anymore.
SUNDAY
Joshua Jackson’s 3 remaining fans get all up in arms.
Box office results don’t really surprise anyone.
After dropping some tantalizing possibilities on the casting of Fletch in a potential upcoming resumption of the series, the latest name is causing some deflation. Joshua Jackson, of Pacey fame and not much else, is being bandied about to play the investigative reporter in Fletch Won. No matter how silly the casting is, don’t laugh out loud or his fans will be on you in a shot. While this casting is out of left field, the box office results followed the expected course. Another threequel, Ocean’s 13 took the top spot and Spider-Man 3 continues to look like the movie to beat for the summer box office title.
MONDAY
More Apatow love.
Jealous creator screws fans, or something.
CinemaBlend has become a satellite Seth Rogen-Judd Apatow fan club site. That’s because they are funny nerdy guys who have tons of money and hot chicks. We also have at least one of those characteristics, so it’s a natural affinity. We don’t have any real news about them but we’ve taken to just reminding you that they exist and their careers should be supported to the bottom of your wallet. I used to watch the old “Battlestar Galactica” television show and I thought it was fine. I was about ten at the time and when I watched it again as an adult I thought it was terrible. Reportedly the new show is so good they want to make it into a movie, since that always works so well. The creator of the original show is holding it up and that has fans pissed. But the kinds of people who love BSG are often pissed about something, so it’s not a big deal.
TUESDAY
Good movie may spawn third crummy sequel.
Christina Applegate agrees to sleep with Dwight K. Shrute.
There is no bigger example of an exciting action comedy destroying its legacy with lousy sequels than Beverly Hills Cop. Both sequels were terrible although Beverly Hills Cop 3 was truly pathetic and marked the beginning of the end for Eddie Murphy before his Shrek reemergence. There has been discussion of a fourth movie but nothing is concrete. Let’s hope it stays that way. A movie I am kind of interested in seeing is Rainn Wilson’s Pete Best-like story The Rocker. Christina Applegate, who is always appealing, will play the love interest. More of this, less of Axel Foley.
We get the inside story on how Grindhouse screwed both the viewer and Sin City 2.
When is a poster not a poster?
One of our inside sources says the failure of Grindhouse has hurt the chances of a Sin City sequel. The Weinstein Company hasn’t been knocking them out of the park lately and everyone wants to be sure Sin City 2 will make tons of dough before they pony up the bucks. One franchise that keeps on trucking is Saw. A Saw IV poster is out even though it seems like the first movie was released about six months ago.
THURSDAY
Puppets are back to kick your ass.
Someone agrees to be Tom Cruise’s wife, but not in real life, that’d be insane.
Puppets without strings is like porn without women. I mean, we all know it exists in concept, but who would ever want to see it? Apparently, anyone who goes to see Crush, Agent Crush will find mechanical puppet secret agents. And speaking of puppets, Tom Cruise has a new wife. A new movie wife at least. Dutch actress Carice Van Houten will portray his wife in Byran Singer’s good-Nazis movie, Valkyrie. No word on how many volcanoes will have to be exploded in celebration.
FRIDAY
Batman’s wardrobe change.
Matt Damon finally looks tough.
Batman is fast approaching Whitney Houston as the costume change leader of the free world. Another new change has been released for the still shooting The Dark Knight and we have some pictures and links and all the things you need to partake. You can also see some posters for the highly anticipated (by me) The Bourne Ultimatum. The poster shows an even tougher looking Jason Bourne than previously noted. I appreciate him in the most non-gay way possible.
That’s all for another week of news blending. It’s like what you get at Jamba Juice, but cheaper and not quite as healthy. If you liked it or didn’t, leave some feedback.
