Robert Pattinson

Look, nobody was truly ready for the world we're living in right now. Disneyland has been closed for like two months. You can't go to the movies. Hell, you can't even get a haircut. If you're not dealing with this well, it's ok, nobody should be expected to be fine right now. However, we might want to check on Robert Pattinson.

The next Batman looks like he might be having some problems dealing with the isolation. In a recent GQ profile, the actor admitted to an interesting side hustle, an attempt to start a new fast food business focused on pasta. That, in itself, isn't that big a deal. Ryan Reynolds owns a gin label and a cell phone company. Celebrities have money to try stuff. However, after revealing his plan, he then proceeds to nearly burn his goddamn house down. Strap in folks, this one goes places, and social media just can't believe it.

It's hard to decide what my favorite part of this is. I mean, the idea that there might be an untapped market in the fast food industry isn't crazy. Seeing gaps in the market and finding a way to fill them has been exactly how many huge companies have found their start. Though, it sounds like Robert Pattinson's business plan might be lacking. The matter-of-fact way that Lele Massimini apparently confirmed Pattinson's story of their meeting, including, it would seem, the way he basically didn't react to the concept in any way, probably tells us all we need to know.

But then Robert Pattinson attempts to show off his brilliant food invention by putting pasta, in foil, and then putting that foil, in the microwave. It's like a horror movie. As you read it, you know what's about to happen. You want to cry out and stop him, even knowing all this has already happened. And then, the inevitable occurs.

One would hope this wouldn't need to be said, but if you don't use your microwave often, please understand that putting any sort of metal in there, even foil is a bad idea. In addition, cooking pasta in the microwave is something only monsters do.

I mean, at this point, being stuck at home has probably changed a lot of eating habits as many restaurants are closed and we're probably all eating at home more than we usually do. At some point, you need to find creative ways to prepare food. But again, without burning your house down, please.

This whole thing is insane, but, honestly, if you've watched basically any movie Robert Pattinson has made since finishing Twilight, it's maybe not that insane, at least not for him. Honestly, if this is Robert Pattinson right now, I can't wait until he gets back to making Batman again. That movie is going to be nuts in all the best ways.

If nothing else, however accidentally, Robert Pattinson has provided us with some fantastic isolation entertainment. We should be thankful for that.

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