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The biggest piece of movie news this evening is obviously the 2010 MTV Movie Awards. Just as it did last year, Twilight once again swept away the competition, winning in five out of the 12 categories (I could argue six, but you’ll have to read the rest of the article to know why). But while watching the show and listening to the winners of each category, I came to a conclusion: I don’t understand the current MTV generation.

Back when the award show first started, the movies nominated and awarded were actually good. Hell, Malcolm X, Schindler’s List and Pulp Fiction were all entries in the Best Movie category in their respective years, the last one winning the prize. Fast forward to 2010 and I am staring blankly at my television, mouth agape, as the most confounding events unfolded. Of these events, the five listed below just escaped all comprehension.


5) Beyonce and Ali Larter Win Best Fight
Many of you just asked the same thing: when did Beyonce and Ali Larter do a movie together? The movie in question is Obsessed, which came out in April of last year, and the reason it doesn’t ring a bell is because it was one of the most dismissed movies of 2009. Not even presented during the ceremony, instead read by Snookie out on the red carpet, it suggests something that I have suspected about the MTV Movie Awards for a long time: the voters don’t actually watch movies. This is a case of people recognizing Beyonce’s name and deciding that she needs a new piece of hardware to put on the mantle. They certainly couldn’t have been voting based on the fight itself. There are better brawls on Jerry Springer and at least in those fights there is a chance for someone’s wig to be pulled off.


4) The Entire Best Male Performance Category
Some may argue that voters can’t be blamed for who gets put in the categories, but, let’s face it, the nominees are dictated by popular demand. The biggest problem here is that the word “Performance” has become a synonym for “Actor.” Other democratic award shows, such as the Kid’s Choice Awards and the People’s Choice Awards avoid this confusion by using either “actor” or “star,” thus making the award stand for what it really is: an award for being well liked. By using the word “performance,” you are having fans choose the actor who displayed the greatest emotional range; the actor who truly became there character and shared chemistry with their co-stars. With the exception of Daniel Radcliffe, the rest of the nominees are kind of a joke. If Zach Galifianakis was good enough to win Best Comedic Performance, why was he not good enough to be even nominated for Best Male Performance? Oh, right. The beer gut.


3) Amanda Seyfried Wins For Best Scared-As-Shit Performance
Take what I said in the first section and double it for this category. As forgettable as Obsessed may have been, the only reason Jennifer’s Body rings a bell is because it was such an enormous flop. Expected to take Megan Fox’s career beyond Michael Bay’s world of fighting robots, even Seyfried acknowledged in her acceptance speech that nobody saw this film. Voters recognized Seyfried from Mamma Mia! and Mean Girls and gave her the bump.


2) Anna Kendrick Takes Home Best Breakout Star Over Zach Galifianakis
Don’t get me wrong: I thoroughly enjoyed Up In The Air, and Kendrick’s performance as Natalie Keener to boot, but let’s be honest, shall we? Anna Kendrick didn’t win this award for being Natalie Keener; she won this award for playing Jessica Stanley in the Twilight movies. Meanwhile, Zach Galifianakis went from being a semi-popular stand-up with a limited movie career to the top of the A-list and everyone’s new favorite comedian. Sure, Kendrick got the Oscar, but when we look back at 2009 and ask ourselves which actor made the greatest career leap, the answer is Mr. Galifianakis.


1) Tom Felton Beats Christoph Waltz For Best Villain
I understand that there was a movement to get Draco Malfoy this award and that the Harry Potter franchise is big with the youngins, but this is just unacceptable. Christoph Waltz’s performance as Hans Landa in Inglourious Basterds was not only the best performance of last year, but, arguably, one of the greatest antagonist roles of all time. Draco may be bad, but we’re talking about a character in Landa who is as sinister and duplicitous as they come. Making matters even worse is that Waltz was in attendance. How is an actor a shoe-in for the Oscar but gets snubbed by this show? Only on MTV.

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