Vertical Limit

Are you the kind of person that would give his life to save someone else's? Are you the kind of moron that would strap a leaky bomb to his back and sacrifice the lives of 3 innocent people in a mad and poorly thought out quest to save one? Then you would fit right in on Vertical Limit. Vertical Limit is the story of a climber who has lost his nerve to climb... until his sister is stranded on a peak called K2, and he is her only hope for survival. Suddenly all his phobias are forgotten and he is instantly a climber again. It may have been 4 years since he's touched a climbing rope, but now, not only is he ready to do it again, he's ready to do it with a bomb strapped to his back. Exciting enough for you? But wait there is more... what if the bombs are leaky? Oh and wait, let's make them explode in the sunlight! Ooooo oooo and we can make it so that if they are dropped or hit anything they blow up to. Now lets make all the rescuers incompetent boobs! But wait, they could just go really slow and everything would be ok... hmm let's throw in some ridiculous and arbitrary time limit. NOW you've got a movie! Vertical Limit is a classic story of man vs. nature, rich vs. poor, man vs. highly explosive leaky bomb. Fortunately, at no point is character development an issue in Vertical Limit, so with each and every character that is killed off by his own stupidity, the audience feels no loss, just another incompetent boob who fell off the side of the mountain and went boom. Vertical Limit is about cheap thrills, corny plot devices, and unnecessary suffering. The Hobbit went to Vertical Limit hoping to see a good man vs. the mountain story, but that just wasn't enough for these writers. Clearly, mountain climbing in itself isn't really all that dangerous, it's only dangerous if you are carrying bombs and surrounded by megalomaniac, murdering millionaires. And honestly, there wasn't really much mountain climbing in this film to begin with. Lots of hiking in high winds, lots of hanging off of cliffs because you are to stupid to know better than to let your bomb slide off down the ice, but really not all that much actual climbing. Where is the consistency? Where is the plot development? Where is the sense of achievement you should feel for the characters getting the job done? And how the hell did the team manage to get down the mountain? Magic mountain fairies??? Vertical Limit tries to be smart, it tries to show hard people making hard decisions, but it just comes off as callous and bereft of feeling. Filled with overused plot devices, time and time again Vertical Limit beat the Hobbit in the head with its basic ineptitude by repeating the same worn out tricks. Repeatedely Lame Moments: Single Tear Running Down Cheek- Used 3 times Killing Someone Else to Save yourself- Used 5 times Hanging off the edge of a ledge- 8 times Rich People are Basically Evil, Greedy, and Stupid- 10 times