Late night television can be a crapshoot. Guests can be asked about anything from their current project to their families to their political views. WWE superstar John Cena was asked a very different kind of question during a recent appearance on The Late Show. Host Stephen Colbert seized his opportunity ask Cena an especially hard-hitting question...about his penis. No, that's not a typo. Cena was not on The Late Show to talk pens or pants or paninis. The key topic of the night was about what he has going on south of the border, and Cena actually had a pretty awesome answer for Colbert. Check it out!
My goodness indeed, man!
Kudos to John Cena for rolling with Stephen Colbert's taboo tangent during the interview. The non-penis part of the clip proves that Cena and Colbert had clearly rehearsed some of their banter together, but it's also pretty clear that Cena had no idea that Colbert would be taking the conversation in that particular downward direction. He deserves a lot of credit for straddling Colbert's line of questioning and giving a very blunt answer.
Personally, beyond wanting to give John Cena a medium-sized thumbs up, I don't have a personal stance about the penis chat on The Late Show. That said, a friend of mine - let's just say he - definitely has some thoughts. According to my good pal who is definitely not me, Cena's choices of euphemism for what he's not packing south of the border were some of the funniest lines uttered by any guest ever on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. In my very real friend's opinion, it's not really possible to pick which was the funniest. Cena rattled off his "short trip south of the equator" answer so quickly that there wasn't time for the question to get awkward.
For me - that is, for my friend - the only bit of the clip that even approaches the hilarity of John Cena's creatively euphemistic responses is the look on Stephen Colbert's face when he realized that Cena was really copping to not having a whole lot to feel. Cena got the first surprise of the night when Colbert asked the penis question; Stephen Colbert may have gotten the biggest surprise of the night when he listened to Cena find three ways to describe what's not going on downtown. My chum who is a guy and for sure not me thinks Colbert was blushing more than Cena.
There's no way to know if John Cena might have woken up with some regrets that he was so assertive about being diminutive downstairs, but he may not have had as many witnesses to his confession on The Late Show as he would have elsewhere on late night. Jimmy Fallon on NBC's The Tonight Show is destroying Stephen Colbert on The Late Show in the ratings, and Jimmy Kimmel Live on ABC has an edge over The Late Show on CBS as well. Of course, given the fact that a video about John Cena's penis could very well go viral, it may not matter that the exchange happened on a show that doesn't get the best ratings. The internet is forever.
If you ever get tired of rewatching John Cena euphemize his size, be sure to take a look at our fall TV premiere schedule to see what you'll be able to catch on the small (but not like weirdly small) screen in the near future. Let us know in the comments what you - or that friend who happens to be on your computer using your account - think of John Cena on The Late Show!
Resident of One Chicago, Bachelor Nation, and Cleveland. Has opinions about crossovers, Star Wars, and superheroes. Will not time travel.
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