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Summer has come to a close, which means that many of you younger readers will soon find yourselves headed back to that dreaded place: school. Whether you're still a kid, or an adult looking back, I think we can all agree that few experiences can compare to the moment of walking into a new classroom to get a feel for the type of teacher one has to endure for an entire year. In the eyes of a kid, it's a truly tense experience. And TV characters have to go through this experience as well.
We've compiled a list of the 7 worst schoolteachers in the history of television. Some made this list for being wholly unqualified, others for being totally unhinged, and some have a terrifying mixture of both. Check out our entries and be grateful that you don't have to sit in any of these classes this year. Now let's get started with one of the most deadly schoolteachers to show up on the small screen...
Walter White - Breaking Bad
Make no mistake, Brian Cranston's Walter White never even really wanted to become a teacher; he had to when he sold his shares in Gray Matter Technologies prematurely and missed out on billions of dollars. Throughout Breaking Bad's run, he constantly exuded a feeling of bitterness and pessimism towards his chosen profession, and never seemed to enjoy education as much as he enjoyed science itself. Sure, he may have taught Aaron Paul's Jesse Pinkman some great chemistry lessons during their relationship, but by the end of the series Mr. Pinkman probably would've been better off remaining a stoned slacker/small-time meth dealer that we met in the pilot. We give him an F in the teaching category, but an A+ in meth class.
Mr. Garrison - South Park
Herbert Garrison (a.k.a Janet Garrison for a few seasons) is arguably one of the worst people in a town full of already terrible human beings. A sexual deviant with serious personal issues, South Park's Mr. Garrison really has no business standing in front of a classroom full of children, as he seldom ever does any real educating. Many of his lessons involve the bizarre incorporation of pointless pop culture references -- he once showed Barnaby Jones to his class of third graders for eight days straight -- and he's prone to outbursts of anger and swearing at the children he teaches. Perhaps the most notably disturbing aspect of his teaching style is that he carries a badge and gun with him to class, despite the fact that neither of those items are actually issued by the school district.
Chuck Noblet - Strangers with Candy
Although most people know Stephen Colbert for his late-night antics and biting political commentary, he has also delved into the world of scripted television with phenomenal results. His most famous role outside of late night came on the classic Comedy Central series, Strangers with Candy, in which he played the endlessly unstable teacher Chuck Noblet. Essentially an unhinged sociopath, Noblet would take every opportunity to publicly shame his students, experience emotional, violent outburst, and generally preach false information -- he assigns bible passages for science class. One of his best (read: worst) moments? Stealing a disabled student's wheelchair and racing through the hallways of Flatpoint High.
Mr. Testaverde - Saved By The Bell
We all had at least one hard teacher during our childhoods, but few will ever match the sheer difficulty of Bayside High's George Testaverde. An overbearingly difficult history teacher, Saved by the Bell's "Terrible Testaverde" gave incredibly difficult assignments, and conducted lectures at the speed of an auctioneer -- to the point where Jessie Spano's notes almost caught on fire as she tried to keep up. Such realism! In a school that constantly pitted the faculty against the students, Terrible Testaverde represented one of the worst examples of an adult who just didn't understand the student body. At least Zack Morris had the good sense to tune his lectures out and listen to music instead.
Mrs. Krabappel - The Simpsons
Edna Krabappel remained a constant fixture at Springfield Elementary until the tragic passing of voice actress Marcia Wallace in 2013, at which point The Simpsons retired the character in touching fashion. But the students might be learning more now, since the alcoholic, chain-smoking fourth grade teacher didn't do very much to inspire her students during Mrs. K's career. Though she initially arrive in Springfield as a wide-eyed optimist, the act of teaching slowly wore her down to the point where she cared very little about the actual academic success of her students. By the end of her time on the iconic FOX series, Mrs. Krabappel was far more concerned with finding love and personal fulfillment than shaping the minds of Springfield's youth. RIP, Mrs. K. We'll miss you, but we're glad we didn't have you for over two decades.
Mr. Garvey - Key & Peele
Say what you will about the other teachers present on this list; at least they can all make it through attendance without incident. _Key & Peele's _Mr. Garvey has clearly seen some rough times in his 20 years as a substitute teacher in the inner city, and he's not afraid to roll up his sleeves and get tough on his students whenever necessary. Mr. Garvey became instantly iconic as one of the Comedy Central series' best characters during a short sketch in which he simply couldn't properly pronounce any of his students' names -- even reacting violently when they tried to correct him. It's one of the show's funniest sequences, but it's also a reminder that Garvey may have chosen the wrong profession.
Coach McGuirk - Home Movies
Coach McGuirk from Home Movies isn't a bad guy; he's just terminally unlucky, and not very well educated. Clearly not the brightest member of the faculty, everybody's favorite animated gym teacher tries his best to preach solid lessons to his students -- particularly Brendon Small -- but he's so misguided, and so ill-informed that most of his lessons have a habit of backfiring. His best lectures: anything hard in life isn't worth doing, cheating and studying are basically the same thing, and orange juice pairs well with breakfast cereal instead of milk. We could listen to Coach McGuirk talk for hours (because after all, it's H. Jon Benjamin) but we would never, ever want to enroll in one of his classes.