Major spoilers below for anyone who hasn't yet watched The Walking Dead season premiere, but then you probably knew that already.
Well, Walking Dead fans, we made it through the long and arduous wait from the Season 6 finale to the Season 7 premiere, and while the Negan-led cliffhanger received its fair share of fan backlash, everyone involved with the show kept promising that it would all be worth it when the premiere came around. Indeed, "The Day Will Come When You Won't Be" lived up to much of the hype, dropping the bodies of not just one major and beloved character, but two. As revealed during Rick's mental torture sesh, Negan used Lucille to kill both Abraham Ford and Glenn Rhee, and I honestly don't feel that much better about life now having finally seen the big gross death play out. But wow anyway.
While The Walking Dead TV show will be taking Negan down a peg in how over-the-top he's portrayed, that scale-back obviously doesn't affect the brutality of his actions. We had to wait a while to actually get an answer to the biggest TV question of the summer, and Negan got to show off some of his antagonistic savagery before the big scene, testing Rick's skills by sticking him out in the walker-filled wild. But no amount of teased physical abuse to Rick could dull the impact of the big moment, and the episode definitely drew out the appropriate amount of pulse-pounding dread on the way to Abraham getting his skull busted.
It was an absolutely chilling incident, nearly more so than in the source material, with the soundtrack dropping out just as Negan went into his rhyme. And when Abraham's face was shown to be "it," I imagine so many viewers' hearts were on the way to leaping out of their throats. It only got worse - way worse - in the moments afterward, as Negan completely obliterated all that was recognizable about everything above Abraham's neck. Let's all give a big sad hand to Abraham for getting some last words in, because "Suck my nuts" is as good as it gets. But holy shit, Abraham's head. His head!
And goddammit, Daryl, you stupid impulsive son of a whore. As Negan was rubbing Abraham's death in Rosita's face, Daryl just HAD to be the big man by rising up to deck Negan in the face. This inevitably led to a small speech from Negan about behavior, followed by a sudden swing of Lucille down upon Glenn's unreadied skull. Glenn's death was a much more heartbreaking one, as it tied close to the the comics, where he got to at least call for Maggie before he joined the choir invisible. Plus, his eye did that popping out thing from the comics, which looked absolutely sick.
And by the end of it all, we could almost put Carl's RIGHT OR LEFT arm on the R.I.P. list, thanks to Negan calling back to the story of a completely different Abraham, he of the Bible. After giving Rick a mindfuck peppered with craziness, Negan convinces Rick that he'll have to lop off Carl's arm. But it was all a ruse, which kind of makes Negan a bigger dickhead than if he'd actually let Carl get unarmed. (Not to Carl or anything, but you know.) Sucks that the ax wasn't a part of Rick losing his hand, though it was implied pretty squarely, but I guess that's okay. For now.
Moving forward, we have to get used to watching The Walking Dead without the macho quippery and hardcore survivor skills of Abraham, as well as the gentle badassery and moral couth of Glenn. Maggie has to give birth to a child who will never know his or her father, and Eugene will have to...not need to talk to Abraham about stuff. The future does not look bright for everyone on this show - besides Negan, I suppose - but it will all hopefully be extremely exciting nonetheless. If only I just could just get my stomach to stop hurting after that nasty mess.
For the next seven weeks, The Walking Dead will air Sunday nights on AMC, and then we'll have to get used to waiting for more all over again during the midseason hiatus. To see what else is hitting your TVs but without all of the bulging eyeballs and brain matter, check out our fall premiere schedule.