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Most of us have released a wicked bit of fartosity at one point or another, but how many of you can say you've let one rip on live TV? Well, it seems like CBS NFL analyst Phil Simms can certainly stake a claim to that bit of fame. Take a look at what happened in the booth yesterday.
Well, what can I say? Boys will be boys, I guess. Now, if you're wondering what the big deal is, that's OK. It just means you haven't been hit with enough silent and deadly attacks to know the visible signs that occur when someone drops a quiet bomb on someone in close quarters. For you lucky individuals, let me explain what you're seeing.
Phil Simms and Jim Nantz were working the Miami Dolphins-Pittsburgh Steelers game over the weekend when this all went down. Everything seems fine at first, with Nantz discussing a six yard field goal attempt by one of the teams. Then, Simms starts talking and, if you look back over at Nantz, you can see him visibly press his lips together. For a second, his whole face literally freezes. This, friends, is when Simms must have dropped the bomb. See, Jim Nantz is trying to stay professional here; there's no screaming or cursing. But, he's also trying to save his very being from the onslaught that is friendly fire fart gas. From the look on his face, Nantz has attempted to stop any of the contaminated air from entering his body; he doesn't want that stuff in his nose or his mouth. And, who can blame him?
Poor Jim Nantz. The man was clearly dying in there, as Phil Simms chatters away about the "atmosphere" and whether or not Nantz is "warmer" than he was earlier in the game. So, not only is Simms a close proximity farter, but he also likes to rub it in and tease his victim, all while pretending nothing happened. I also couldn't help but notice that he waved a hand in Nantz's direction, probably to try and really give him the full fart experience. What does Jim Nantz do with all this torture? The only thing that any person who's had enough could do: with the camera on him, he gets up and leaves the hot zone. Bravo, Jim Nantz! Take back your air space, my man.
In case you're still not convinced, there does appear to be a precedent for this farty occurrence. It was just about a year ago when one of these two gentlemen was caught live on camera letting one rip. Given what I've now seen with this video, my vote is on Phil Simms farting on air last year. Well, whatever makes the man happy. Be sure to check out our midseason premiere schedule to see what you can watch (without farts) on CBS and other fine channels in the near future.