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Quick, what are the three most masculine things you can think of right now? Yes, you’re absolutely right. The correct answer is football, watching football and farting. All three came together over the weekend on CBS, which aired a game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Denver Broncos that saw the mile high air in Denver get a little smellier thanks to one flatulent offender. Check it out below.
That moment happened as the broadcast was coming back from a commercial break, so it’s very likely that the poot-tooting sounds came from within the commentator’s booth, although I guess it’s possible that someone on the field at that point had a microphone on them. In any case, let’s look at the main suspects, ACME Detective Agency style.
Jim Nantz or Phil Simms. Hey, I completely understand that these guys don’t get to just relax and let a load off during the game, and that the quick commercial breaks are where the situational adjustments have to happen. And sometimes, possibly often, they need to get some excess hot air out into the world using the best way possible. Sure, nobody wants to pass gas on live TV, but when it happens, we can all agree that there are worse things that could have happened. Like Phil Simms’ play by play for the rest of the game. Hey-ooo. It almost has to be one of these guys, and Nantz seems like the kind of person who would keep a fart-softening pad to sit on during the game. Simms is not a fart-softening pad guy.
That Kid in the 49ers Jersey. You’re going to be on live TV for an NFL football game being watched by millions of people, so you’re probably going to practice what to do when you know you’re on camera. Instead of putting forth any emotion that resembled mirth, though, this kid just looked off worriedly into the distance as everyone else smiled and waved. Is it because he’s possibly not comfortable in these kinds of situations, or is it because he ripped one and he’s bothered that it might have gone one step past the air portion of the act? He looks a little too suspicious for me, but then he also looks like the kind of kid who would reluctantly take the blame for someone else’s fart. Alas, the lack of other sounds surrounding the butt-erance means it probably didn’t come from on the field.
In the end, I guess the whoopsie could have come from someone else in the commentator’s booth, or some other CBS employee involved with the audio. Any way it goes, the spontaneous interruption was more interesting than the majority of the actual game, so we thank thee, whoever it was.