Thanks to TV super producer Dick Wolf, we’ve been treated to a nice trifecta of shows based on emergency responders in the great city of Chicago. We first saw Chicago Fire, and were then treated to Chicago P.D. and Chicago Med. Since all those shows are doing well for NBC, it makes sense that they’d want to keep the Chicago train rolling, right? Well, now there are tentative plans for a fourth installment, Chicago Law. But, this can’t keep going forever. So, here are some possible Chicago Fire spinoffs that we have no interest in seeing, ever.

Chicago Mail
The rough and tumble story of Chicago Mail would tell the tale of the proud men and women who make sure our postal system keeps running smoothly (well, as smoothly as possible for the US Postal Service) on a daily basis. What happens when someone mails something fragile, but hasn’t appropriately marked the package? How do you make sure perishables stay fresh as they travel throughout the system? What do you do when you forget a package back at the post office? How do you deal with the customer buying stamps who can’t decide which stamps they want? How, on Earth, do you combat a nasty neighborhood dog on your daily route? All these questions, and more, would be answered, to non-comedic effect, on Chicago Mail.

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