Jerry Seinfeld's stand-up act was often incorporated into the plot of an episode of Seinfeld. He'd make jokes about something that bugged him during a stand-up segment of the episode, and sure enough, that factored into the plot. So it's not surprising that his stand-up act during last night's episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon would be brimming with jokes perfectly adaptable for a modern-day Seinfeld episode. If only, right? We can dream. But watch the above video and imagine how Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine would deal with these issues.
First, he focuses on how dependent we are on our cell phones. "There's no security for you in this life anymore unless when you're walking down the street, you can feel a hard rectangle in your pants," Seinfeld jokes, noting that we need it to be a "juiced up" hard rectangle. And then he goes on to joke about how people scroll through their contacts like kings and how it's making talking obsolete. "I feel like a blacksmith up here sometimes, to tell you the truth," He says. "If you want, I can text you the whole thing, we can get the hell out of here."
That whole bit had me imagining a plot of Seinfeld completely focused on cell phone dependency for social interaction.. Maybe Jerry's relying on his phone to keep him from having to talk to some guy he really can't stand talking to but isn't able to un-friend out of his life. And when he loses his phone, he's faced with having to actually talk to the guy.
The next segment had Newman's name all over it...
In discussing the postal service, Seinfeld takes some shots at the USPS, referring to the letter carriers as the "dazed and confused distant branch of the Cub Scouts." He took that further by talking about stamp price issues.
"Hey, dude, do whatever you gotta do. We don't give a damn. What is a stamp anyway? We don't even know what it costs. Forty-three, forty-eight? Make it a buck, you're gonna get there. You have some money leftover, buy yourself some pants and a real car.
And then he closes the bit with a bit of advice for the USPS, "If I could talk to the post office, if I could say to them, 'If you really want to be helpful to us, just open the letters, read 'em and email us what it says'"
Translated to a modern-day Seinfeld episode, I picture a whole arc involving Elaine having some drama involving the use of actual mail. Maybe she's stuck corresponding with someone who doesn't have an email address, which puts her at the mercy of the USPS, and eventually involves her having to call on a favor from Newman.
Or maybe I just miss Seinfeld so much that I find it necessary to dissect Jerry Seinfeld's stand-up and outline it for potential fan fiction... Maybe.
In other news, Seinfeld did sit down with Jimmy Fallon for an interview, and as you might have guessed if you're familiar enough with Jimmy Fallon's style of comedy, Seinfeld impersonating happened.
I love how entertained Seinfeld seems to be by Fallon impersonating him. The banter near the end of the clip is the best.
Watch some of the highlights from The Tonight Show series premiere here. And if you haven't seen it already, be sure to watch Fallon's latest Evolution of Dance video with Will Smith. And if it's Seinfeld you crave, definitely watch the special Seinfeld episode of his Crackle series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee!