Spoiler alert! This story discusses “Never Felt So Alone,” the April 11 episode of Grey’s Anatomy.
Ellen Pompeo made another appearance on Grey’s Anatomy’s 20th season in the latest episode, but rather than focusing on her Alzheimer’s research, this time things got more personal. We got a solid glimpse at just how much Meredith Grey still misses Derek Shepherd when their son Bailey had a medical emergency. Despite Meredith getting annoyed with her boyfriend Nick Marsh (again) over how he handled things, I fully believe this couple is endgame, and “Never Felt So Alone” strengthened my argument.
Meredith, who was working on her research in Seattle on the April 11 episode, got caught off-guard when her daughter Zola informed her by text that Nick (Scott Speedman) had taken Bailey to the hospital in Boston with early signs of appendicitis. She was furious that Nick had neglected to inform her of that immediately (which is valid) and was able to charter Catherine Fox’s plane to rush home.
That’s when we were first clued into the reason for Meredith’s anxiety. Richard Webber (James Pickens Jr.) tried to allay her fears by reminding her how routine an appendectomy is, and how most of the time mistakes don’t happen, to which she retorted:
And most of the time, people who need craniotomies get head CTs.
Like a punch straight to the gut, Meredith reminded us that what happened to McDreamy might have been prevented if the doctors in charge of his care had gotten a CT and realized the extent of his head injury. Derek came up again after Bailey's surgery when Meredith — who was still angry at Nick and asked him to leave — admitted to Richard when she misses her husband the most, saying:
I mean, of course I miss him. It’s just really only when the kids wake up in the middle of the night and I don’t have anyone to talk to.
I think every Grey’s Anatomy fan still stings a little over Patrick Dempsey’s Derek being killed off, but it’s just heartbreaking to hear Meredith say it. It also really gives context to her harsh reaction toward Nick. However, Richard pointed out that Meredith does, in fact, have someone to talk to about the kids, and Nick’s response to the situation is why I think he’s not going anywhere.
When Meredith finally went to talk to Nick about what happened, he didn’t let her off the hook, pointing out that he’d been staying with her children for two days while she was out of town, and the reason he hadn’t called her right away was because he was on the phone with the nanny to make sure the other two kids were taken care of. While I do agree Meredith still had every right to be upset, I definitely see his side of it, and Meredith has to know that if she’s trusting Nick to care for her kids, she has to actually trust him.
Nick also said he knows he’s not McDreamy. He will never be her children’s father, but he still loves them. Little Bailey even asked for Nick first thing when he woke up from the surgery. That’s a pretty telling sign.
Nick has put up with a lot from Meredith, but he is still there, still showing up for her kids and being patient as she continues to navigate her grief and allow herself to relinquish just the tiniest bit of control.
With five episodes remaining in Grey’s Anatomy’s 20th season, I don’t know how much more Meredith we’ll get, but I’m certain that wherever she is, Nick Marsh will remain by her side. ABC’s medical drama is on a short hiatus, set to return at 9 p.m. ET Thursday, May 2. In the meantime, you can catch up on the best Grey’s Anatomy episodes, as every season can be streamed with a Hulu subscription, and the first 19 seasons are available with a Netflix subscription.
