‘Just Say The Damn Words’: Sandra Oh Recalls Causing ‘Grief’ For Shonda Rhimes And The Writers On Grey’s Anatomy

Sandra Oh on Grey's Anatomy
(Image credit: ABC)

Ever since Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey danced it out one last time in the Grey’s Anatomy Season 10 finale, fans have been hoping that Sandra Oh will one day return to reunite with her twisted sister. That has yet to happen, even as the medical drama prepares to enter its 22nd season this fall on the 2025 TV schedule, and while the actress has called her experience with the show “traumatic,” she recently admitted that she caused some “grief” for those around her.

Sandra Oh gave the commencement address at Dartmouth College on June 15, where she spoke to graduates about what a great learning experience it can be to live with discomfort. That’s something she apparently got from Grey’s Anatomy, which she said was one of the most beneficial but challenging decades of her life. Oh continued (via EW):

I demanded a lot from myself and from the writers. If something bothered me in a script, I would fight for what I believed what was right for the character of Cristina because I felt responsible for her. And while this contributed to the creation of a memorable character, my desire to make the dialogue fit and my belief that I knew what was best for the character also caused grief for the writers and for me.

Sandra Oh and Ellen Pompeo were among the OG cast members of Grey’s Anatomy when it premiered in 2005. And the fact that the actors don’t always have a say in their storylines is a lesson that Pompeo was still coming to terms with in Season 21, as she said she was “deeply against” one of the choices made by Meredith. If it's still that way today, one can imagine that two decades ago, Oh didn't know how to give the writers the creative license they needed.

She said there was even a “dedicated Sandra whisperer” whose job it was to “deal” with her. This led to what sounds like a pretty intense phone call between her and Shonda Rhimes, as Oh continued:

One time… the writers and I were at an impasse about something in this script, and I had to have a call with the big boss. And Shonda, I'll never forget, she said to me, 'Sandra, we have been here before. You got to trust me. Something will come through if you just say the damn words.' … It has stayed with me. I heard her.

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It was reportedly Dartmouth alum Shonda Rhimes who recommended Sandra Oh for the commencement address, and you have to imagine she approved of this sentiment.

Learning from her discomfort doesn’t sound like a very pleasant process, though. The Quiz Lady star has spoken openly about the health issues she suffered due to the stress on Grey's Anatomy, but at least it sounds like she was able to take valuable lessons away from the experience. Now we’ve just got to get her back inside Grey Sloan Memorial.

While we wait for Season 22 to premiere this fall, you can relive the MAGIC days of Meredith, Alex, George, Izzie and Cristina or rewatch any of your favorite Grey’s Anatomy eras by streaming all 21 seasons with either a Netflix subscription or Hulu subscription.

Heidi Venable
Content Producer

Heidi Venable is a Content Producer for CinemaBlend, a mom of two and a hard-core '90s kid. She started freelancing for CinemaBlend in 2020 and officially came on board in 2021. Her job entails writing news stories and TV reactions from some of her favorite prime-time shows like Grey's Anatomy and The Bachelor. She graduated from Louisiana Tech University with a degree in Journalism and worked in the newspaper industry for almost two decades in multiple roles including Sports Editor, Page Designer and Online Editor. Unprovoked, will quote Friends in any situation. Thrives on New Orleans Saints football, The West Wing and taco trucks.

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