Burlesque Is Cheap, The Blu-Ray Is Cheaper
I love a good musical. That’s why I don’t love Burlesque. Burlesque isn’t the type of guns-blazing bad that would automatically make it a nominee for this year’s Gay And Lesbian Critics “campiest” award, though it is nominated, nonetheless. Burlesque doesn’t take culturally relevant songs and place them in a weird realm like Moulin Rouge. It isn’t a stage adaptation, it isn’t a musical with wholly original material that gets stuck in your head like a goddamn Lady Gaga song -- although, yes, the Golden Globes would disagree. My only defense is that those people know about as much about music as they know about comedy. Even then, the lack of success of Burlesque’s musical material could be irrelevant (as it is in Tangled) if only the characters and plot had found some way to be memorable. They didn’t. Cher is mamma Cher, Christina’s still pretending she just made it from the homegrown to the big, bad L.A., and Stanley Tucci’s replaying Nigel from The Devil Wears Prada, to worse effect. They might as well have called this film Coyote Ugly: The Musical.
Now I’ve blustered out any qualms I personally had with this film, let’s put them in the past and start over. I understand there is an audience of people who love Christina and Cher and gay Stanley Tucci, who think Cam Gigandet is adorable and who had no problem with the music or plot and character elements in Burlesque because the film was familiar and entertaining, and a good Friday night escape. For those people, Burlesque was not a waste of time, and I personally know plenty of people with this viewpoint. Because my second cousin and kind-of uncle Ron is one of those people, and because I like Ron and appreciate he is a person that at least has his own opinions (you'd agree if saw his kitchen decor), I’ve decided to report on its DVD release.
Burlesque is hitting DVD and Blu-Ray on March 1st, and it would be an extremely good idea to buy the Blu-Ray if you have the technological capacity. Sony Pictures Home Entertainment has gone above and beyond with the Blu-Ray release. Whatever I feel for the film itself, my fanatical regard for the work put into the disc’s features may be the actual reason I’ve chosen to report. The disc will have some common extras, including director's commentary, a blooper real, and the basic behind-the-scenes chats, but it will also offer six brand new performances of some of the songs. There will be an alternate opening scene, a “Burlesque Is Back” featurette, a behind-the-scenes look at the music and choreography, and a MusicIq+sync feature that will allow you access to the Burlesque music. The set sounds like a choir girl’s wet dream, and it’s already on-sale on Amazon for $23.99.
Any group who can cater to their audience to that great of an extent deserves a giddy squeal and a foot-five.