Character Posters Reveal The Cast Of A Million Ways To Die In The West

By Gabe Toro 2014-01-29 13:17:39discussion comments
We’ve now got our first look at A Million Ways To Die In The West, Seth MacFarlane’s ambitious comedy western that boasts what looks to be a fancier cast and considerably more vision than his usual fare. Which is a nice way of saying he’s going to spend more money than ever before for the same dopey jokes about dicks, farts and women being complete and total sex objects. If you’ve got it, flaunt it, baby.

The first of these character posters features Liam Neeson as a man who apparently has a tremendous penis. That’s the joke. Unless the joke is that outlaws have small penises. What’s the common perception? Does Seth know more about penises than we do?

Here is Sarah Silverman, who apparently hails from the town of Westward Ho!, a seaside village named after Charles Kingsley’s 1855 novel about a child who goes on adventures at sea and returns blind.

There’s Neil Patrick Harris, who apparently has a fondling problem, one that should either receive attention from the authorities or a trained medical professional.

Returning from Ted is Giovanni Ribisi, who apparently has chosen to not partake in sexual intercourse, though it is not certain if this is a joke, or a celebration of his willpower.

Here is the lovely Amanda Seyfried, who apparently is participating in the California Gold Rush, placing the film’s narrative between 1848 to 1855. It’s uncertain how she will pan for gold in that extravagant dress, but Ms. Seyfried looks nothing if not dignified.

Here is Charlize Theron, a treasure of Hollywood who is apparently here to make sure that the tobacco is kept as far away from the firearms as possible. Sounds like an impossible task, Charlize!

Finally, one-time Oscar host Seth MacFarlane as Albert, the wayward sheep farmer who apparently is ostracized from his friends and family. Poor fellow. This sounds like a depressing movie. A Million Ways To Die In The West opens May 30th.
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