Let's face it: some of the heroes in Final Fantasy 6 sucked. They were weak and flawed pretenders who were carried to victory by a few key allies.

Even if you love the entire FF6 cast, let's be honest: there are a few characters you're reluctant to put in your away team. Maybe you think they're weak. Maybe they creep you out. Maybe you just don't like them.

Here's a ranking of every playable character*, ordered by their usefulness in stopping the apocalypse.

*Temporary characters like Leo and Wedge were excluded, mainly because they're dead.

14) Gau
Profession: Homeless, feral child

Weaknesses: Completely sucks, probably smells terrible

Strengths: It's not his fault he completely sucks

Analysis: If I'm assembling a team of heroes to save the world, I'm not going to give a spot to a rabies-infected kid who spends his days imitating animals. That spot on the team could be better filled by, well, anyone. I'd pick a rolling chair with swords taped to the arms before I picked Gau.

It's not his fault, of course. He was abandoned by his dad in the Veldt, roughest stretch of wilderness in the known world - which may be the most depressing part of an already bleak game. He had zero percent chance of turning out normal. Gau deserves unqualified sympathy.

That being said: having a crappy childhood doesn't mean that you get to be on the team to save the world. That's way too much responsibility for an illiterate kid who says "Uwaoooo!" a lot. Given his penchant for hanging out in the engine room in the airship, it's only a matter of time before he falls in the gears and kills us all.

You have my sympathy, Gau. But if you're expecting anything other than a free ride to the orphanage, you're mistaken.

Blended From Around The Web



Hot Topics

Cookie Settings
Gateway Blend ©copyright 2018