Pat Robertson: Video Game Murder Is Same As Real Murder

If you kill someone in a video game, it's almost like you're killing someone in real life. Or it's the exact same thing. I don't know. This stunning revelation came out of the mouth of evangelist and flesh-colored bag of stupidity Pat Robertson during a new episode of the 700 Club.

"I think mayhem, killing, Grand Theft Auto, they get pretty bizarre. So if you're murdering somebody in cyberspace in a sense you're performing the act, whether you like it or not."

He's not just making this up, though, folks. Apparently Jesus said this during a late-night gaming session with John and Judas "Spawn Camper" Iscariot. Actually, wait, he wasn't talking about video games. But you could kinda tell he was talking about video games.

"Jesus said, 'if you look upon a woman with thoughts lust in your heart, you've committed adultery with her, ' so that's a virtual sin." By extension, if you shoot an Elite in Halo 4, you're committing mind-murder. Better find a safehouse and lay low for a few weeks. Wait, does that mean thinking about video game murder is murder too? Or writing an article about video game murder? AFK, burning off my fingerprints and fleeing to Mexico.

Robertson is probably not the person to consult regarding morality, though. The dude sees Satan in everything. He said the 2010 earthquake in Haiti was due to that country's pact with the Devil. Hurricane Katrina, meanwhile, was the result of the United States' legalization of abortion. Also, by accepting homosexuals, we're accepting earthquakes, tornadoes and "possibly a meteor."

It's not a question of whether he's an idiot. It's more of a question of what your favorite Robertson moments of stupidity are. My second favorite is the time he claimed he could leg-press 2,000 pounds in order to sell his protein shake. This is my undisputed favorite, though:

I cringed so hard at that shit that my contact lenses fell out. But this is Pat Robertson for you. He's a man for which macaroni and cheese, a dish that has existed for centuries, is a shocking cultural development. Is it any surprise that he'd be unable to have a logical grasp of a more recent invention like video games? He probably spends his days yelling, "WHY DON'T THOSE CARRIAGES HAVE HORSES?" He's like an 18th century preacher who stumbled into a time machine. He makes Jack Thompson look forward-thinking.

Anyway, I just spent more time thinking about Pat Robertson than Pat Robertson does. I need to clear my head with some more murders.