Continuing to perpetuate the stereotype that videogames will forever be a boys club that women will never, ever understand. MSN has published an article that promises to tell you what your console says about your man. The article goes on to make such dubious claims, stating that men who own PS3s are sophisticated, intelligent, know the right people, go to the best restaurants, and don’t wait in line to get into the club. While Wii owners are selfish with their passion and expect the best out of his women. As a fellow gamer, who has actually seen these monsters in the flesh, I’ve got my own assessment, which I imagine to be just a wee bit more realistic. So ladies, read on to see what his console really says about him.
PS3 – Ok, it’s true your guy is probably loaded, but when it comes to the smarts, that’s where the similarities end. True, the PS3 has the unique distinction of being the most expensive console, but any guy with the intellectual foresight and financial restraint to read up on it before shelling out $600 for this thing probably realized that the PS3 is not all that its price tag is cracked up to be. Especially when there aren’t even all that many games to play on it. Currently, the PS3 is more of a trophy console than anything else, except that instead of looking like a trophy, it looks like a waffle-iron or a very expensive George Foreman grill (one individual actually had to courage to let his creativity run wild and converted his PS3 into a real working grill!).
Still, if you fashion yourself a trophy-wife and are looking for someone with gold to dig, who isn’t too deep in the brains department (leaving you plenty of leeway for trysts with Wii and Xbox owners), you may have found your true love. Just keep in mind that if he’s not rich, he might also be the “buy and hold” kind of man. The kind of guy that buys a very expensive hat-rack designed for a series of very expensive hats…only the hats aren’t available yet, and many hat developers are having a hard time developing hats that will look good on that particular hat-rack. Worse yet, he might even be the guy that is NOT loaded and bought a PS3 anyway on name recognition alone, e.g.: “Yo dogg, it’s the new Playstation. It’s like Playstation 2…only 3.” If this poor sap sounds like your hubby, you may want to do yourself a favor and take some steps to rectify that relationship before you finish reading this article.
Wii – The most this system is going to tell you about your guy is that he might not be the one to ditch his plans for you on Saturday night for some late night gaming. But then again, he might be that guy anyway. Who knows? Because it was the cheapest, sexiest console with a revolutionary new remote gimmick and some highly, highly accessible games, the Wii was purchased by everybody; from the basement-dwelling, virginal (before you, of course) dungeons and dragons geek, to the studious academic, and even the liver-spotted septuagenarian. What does this tell you about your guy? Well, he probably thought the idea of playing tennis or bowling with a remote control was cool. But that’s not a bad thing. After all, don’t you think playing tennis or bowling with a remote is cool?
The nice thing about the Wii is that it was designed to be a party system, and the games are a lot of fun at parties (normal parties, not nerdy LAN parties), so there’s a chance this guy probably likes parties and social occasions with actual human beings. However, I must again stress that everybody purchased this system, and there are plenty of disgruntled “hardcore” gamers who are pretty annoyed at the lack of compelling “shoot you in the face” titles on the Wii. So if everyone bought it, it becomes kind of hard to define “who” the Wii guy is. Suffice it to say that it probably includes a bunch of people who may not typically fall within the “hardcore gamer” stereotype, such as hemp-weavers, mothers and old people. Ultimately, it might be nice to know that, your Wii-guy at the very least isn’t afraid to embrace some easy to pick up and play titles that you both can enjoy, such as WiiSports and…oh my god that’s it. Wow, guess the Wii really does take casual gaming to extremes!
Xbox 360 – Your guy is a gamer. He was probably a gamer as a child, had a normal-to-unhealthy fix with video games during his teen years, and now that he’s a full-fledged adult, this is likely going to be his console of choice. Does your guy like games that involve shooting things? He’s probably got one of these lying around somewhere. Football games? They’re here too. The Xbox 360 might as well be the new Playstation in terms of being the definitive gaming console for gamer guys, simply because it’s the only one that has the games to satiate their urges. What does this mean for your relationship? Frankly that’s entirely up to you. Can you date a guy who plays video games now and then? Can you date a guy who plays shoot-you-in-the-face video games you might not be into, such as Halo, Half-Life and Gears of War? Hopefully the answer is yes, because the 360 has these in spades.
Fortunately, I’ve known plenty of well-rounded decent guys, many of whom go out and have successful jobs, social lives and girlfriends in addition to owning Xboxes. These guys love to have fun, especially if it involves shooting you in the face. I don’t recall that owning an Xbox360 has in any way ever negatively impacted their personality. Dating one of these guys just means that you’re dating a guy who has a gaming itch he needs to scratch now and then. Maybe there’s an off chance he’ll want to reenact his furious gaming fantasies in the bedroom and maybe you’ll need a safety word like Banana or Kratos or something, but hey, they like to have fun.
The short answer is this – If he owns a 360 or PS3, he’s probably a more serious gamer, possibly with frat boyish tendencies as well. If he owns a Wii, he may be a serious gamer, but he’s also probably interested in cute things and social interaction. In the end though, the truth is that you probably shouldn’t be judging your man based on the console he owns. I mean, no matter what, videogames are expensive, so they’re really a lot better for determining how much money your man makes if anything. But unless you’re planning on making video games a shared, intimate part of your relationship, I wouldn’t use them as a guideline in gauging your future happiness.
But hey if it’s eating you up, here’s a completely tongue-in-cheek Pro/Con gamer dating cheat sheet:
Cons: Might be stupid, but hey, rich.
Pros: Fun-loving, social, artsy.
Cons: May actually turn out to be trendy/emo/gay.
Pros: Confident, More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Cons: Unlike other 2 owners, actually has games to play on console -- may blow off plans for dinner/movie/marriage. May shoot you in the face.