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Lindsay Lohan Quits Hollywood

Great news for anyone who thinks Lindsay Lohan can’t act. And if you think she can, please support your position using something besides Mean Girls as evidence. No Georgia Rule doesn’t count. She’s basically playing herself. Lindsay plays a coked out whore when she wakes up in the morning, it’s not much of a stretch for her to do it on a film set.

So the great news is that says she’s calling it quits. No more movies for Lindsay. Her media-humping, jailbird father says she told him, “Daddy, I have done some terrible things and been addicted to drugs, but please believe me, I will never do drugs again. I hate Hollywood and I don't want to work there. I need a break and I am moving away. I will stop hanging around with the people that are bad for me.”

Of course if he was any kind of dad at all he’d have kept that conversation between the two of them, if indeed it even happened. It wouldn’t be the first time a media hungry parent lied about communicating with his or her celebrity daughter in order to get attention. It’s really no wonder Lohan is a mess, and in a way I feel sorry for her, I just don’t want to have to watch her in another movie. Good riddance, though it’s a little too easy to scapegoat moviemaking as the source of her trouble. Probably she should look at her parents for starters. After all, other young starlets manage to navigate their way through Tinseltown without becoming borderline prostitutes. Natalie Portman for instance, seems to do a pretty good job of keeping her pubes covered.