Rob Schneider is taking a break from hilariously racist characters in Adam Sandler movies to make another sex comedy. Because the Deuce Bigalow franchise was just so good, the world needs more Rob Schneider penis jokes. We cannot live without them. I assume they’re big in France or something.

Variety says he’ll star opposite Step-Up’s Jenna Dewan in a movie called Virgin on Bourbon Street, which will not in fact be shot on Bourbon Street, but in Detroit later this week. Doesn’t refusing to shoot in Lousiana make you Sean Penn’s mortal enemy or something? Watch your back Schneider.

The film is about a sexually abstinent college-coed whose university “career” is threatened after she cuts loose for a night of wild debauchery. Note to college students: there is no such thing as a “university career”. There is only sucking your parents dry until you get a piece of paper which enables you to enter the work force and actually get a career. Showing up drunk to class is not a career, in and of itself. Showing up drunk to your job however, is a career, as evidenced by the continued success of Rob Schneider. By all that’s Obama and hopeful, please don’t let Rob Schneider play the sexually repressed woman. We’ve seen enough of him in a dress.

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