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Marvel movies were not always the pristine-looking moneymakers ushering in a new era of blockbuster filmmaking. Unlike films based on DC Comics franchise, which tended to take a couple of sequels to get ridiculous, Marvel characters came out of the gate bringing cinema to its knees with hysterical disbelief. Nothing in this video is new to anybody who gives a hoot about comic films, as all of the projects mentioned are notorious even outside comic circles for being all-around terrible movies. But we’ve been celebrating the release of Thor: The Dark World so hard recently, it’s time to celebrate the worst of the worst.
And while there was no real classification system used in the above video, I think we can all agree that the very worst of Marvel’s pre-heyday was their unreleased 1994 shitshow The Fantastic Four. Now, if we’re talking about pure enjoyment, I actually prefer this one to the CGI-heavy modern Fantastic Four, which made me think that Chris Evans was the worst superhero ever. (Thanks, Cap’n, for changing that.) You can actually watch the full film on YouTube, or below. You know, whenever you have an hour and a half to watch the superhero equivalent to a middle school Christmas pageant.
And again, if we’re talking about sheer pleasure in shitty movies, it’s really hard to do better than Dolph Lundgren’s Punisher, or David Hasselhoff in Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., which could easily get turned into a series rival to the ABC version, only on Syfy or something. While the Screen Junkies video implied there is no iconic Punisher, I think Lundgren inside of the batshit crazy Punisher: War Zone is the iconic version. You just have to imagine it instead of watch it. Time for a trailer round-up.
And while Howard the Duck is always worth a shout-out, that movie is quacking fantastic, so it doesn’t belong here. (Cough, cough.) But you know what does? The first Thor, alongside Lou Ferrigno’s Incredible Hulk. Plus the black-sheet wearing Daredevil. History rocks!
So remember, while it’s always nice to live in the moment, it’s sometimes worth looking back and remember how that moment got to be better once Robert Downey Jr. made it snarky.