Warning: Spoilers for Deadpool 2 are in play. If you haven't taken part in the madness, bookmark this story and come back once you've enjoyed the ride.
You'd think with a movie like Deadpool 2 following up the sheer insanity that was Deadpool, it'd be hard to shock audiences. And yet, writers Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, and Ryan Reynolds not only managed to match the same level of surprising gags and twists in this summer's latest comic sequel, they actually outdo the first film in this respect. In particular, there are 16 gags that we think are the true standouts of Deadpool 2's litany of envelope pushing jokes. Prepare yourself to enjoy the maximum effort of the writing team's delightfully sick imaginations!
A Logan Music Box
From the first frames of Deadpool 2, the film aims to get the audience nice and riled up, and it does so with a big call back to the ending of Logan. In particular, there's a music box that Deadpool winds up, in his hour of desperation, depicting the fatal injury that was dealt to Wolverine during his fight with X-24. Adding insult to injury, he starts the box's song by depressing the rod in Wolverine's chest, triggering the mechanism that makes everything go. Naturally, seeing as Deadpool's obsessed with both Hugh Jackman and the X-Men member he plays, this isn't the last we see of his Wolvie fetish.
There it was: a death so traumatic in the Deadpool universe that it triggered its own James Bond title sequence, complete with Celine Dion ballad. Just when Wade and Morena Baccarin's Vanessa had gotten comfortable with the idea of opening the baby factory, a raid on their apartment put a bullet through her chest. While Deadpool 2 mostly trades on comedic and action materials, the death, and Wade's immediate reaction to it, changed the tone of the film into a more serious, vengeance driven story. Not something you'd expect from a guy who serenaded his lady love so ably with the sounds of Wham.
The X-Men Play Hide And Seek
It's one thing to repeat the same joke about how there seem to be no X-Men wandering around Professor Xavier's estate whenever Deadpool comes to call, save of course for Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, and now Yukio. However, we now have a reason behind why Wade Wilson can never find himself a play date with Beast, Quicksilver, or any of the other big screen X-Men. Apparently, they're consciously hiding from him, seen in a moment where James McAvoy, Nicholas Hoult, and Evan Peters - among others - show up as their X-Men characters, before they hid themselves yet again.
Firefist's "Prison Wallet"
A quick rule of comedy: no matter how tame the activity may seem when it comes to adults, it becomes taboo once more when it's executed with a kid. Most people wouldn't bat an eye when it comes to prisoners smuggling makeshift shivs in their ass, but when Julian Dennison's Russell, aka Firefist, mentions he's hidden one in his "prison wallet," it becomes a punchline of disgusting suggestion. If a kid can throw off Deadpool with even the mere suggestion of a dangerous weapon in their rectum, it's truly a gag that works in both senses of the word.
Deadpool's Accordion Death
During the huge battle in the Icebox prison for mutants, Deadpool winds up taking a bit of a dive off of a scaffolding. Under the usual circumstances, that's not too risky, as any injury sustained by his physical form would be able to heal itself through his powers. That isn't the case with the special collar placed on his neck while he's in prison, though; you know, the one that inhibits mutant powers. This particular swan dive ends with Wade Wilson breaking his back over a cafeteria table, and folding like an inside out accordion - only with less musical disruption, and some more flesh.
Death Of The X-Force
After all of the ad campaigns put such a premium on the formation of Deadpool's X-Force, their first mission turned out to be somewhat of a bust. And by "somewhat of a bust," I mean every single member of the X-Force whose name wasn't Domino met a fate worse than recasting - death. Watching the whole team, including a rather surprising actor playing the role of The Vanisher, meeting their demise was as funny as it was surprising. Even poor, sweet Peter met his demise, as he found himself on the business end of Zeitgeist's acidic insides.
Brad Pitt As The Vanisher?!
During the mass purge of X-Force personnel, The Vanisher meets his demise through a chance meeting with some power lines. And, unlike the secret cameo of Matt Damon playing a redneck tased by Cable, we see clear as day who this invisible man is really supposed to be. As he's electrocuted to an untimely demise, the face of Brad Pitt is shown to the audience, stunned to the end of his character's appearance. How this cameo came to be is a story of its own, but if this means Pitt's open to waltzing into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, we're even more pleased to see him go as quickly as he came.
The Death Of Black Tom
While we certainly weren't thinking that Black Tom would be a major fixture of Deadpool 2's narrative, we were just as expectant that he wouldn't get offed like he did during Cable's big play on the Icebox convoy truck. Other prisoners were simply jettisoned, some were even just background dressing. Black Tom was cannon fodder though, as his laughter at Cable's struggle with Deadpool lead to a round shot firmly through his skull. In any other movie, that moment may have been just a simple accent thrown in for flavor; but in a dangerous universe like the Deadpool franchise, even laughter kills.
Behold, The Juggernaut
It's been a while since Juggernaut has found himself on the silver screen, and over a decade of absence certainly hasn't gone without notice. Fans of the character have been waiting to see the giant with the metal helmet doing some damage, and to see the first glimpse of his large physique was a hell of a treat. This made the eventual reveal of Juggernaut's role in the explosive Deadpool 2 finale all the more rewarding, as the stakes were raised with every swing of his arms. Though it did come at a cost to Deadpool: his legs.
Deadpool Loses His Legs
Some heroes regularly write checks with their lips that their bodies can't cash. Deadpool, on the other hand, has some pretty deep pockets when it comes to this sort of thing, and the abuse he suffered in Deadpool was only the start. While we saw Wade Wilson lose his hand in that film, causing his regenerative powers to start him off with a baby hand, we got to see a brand new growth cycle for Deadpool in this movie. You can thank Juggernaut for that, as he merely walked up to the mouthy Deadpool, in mid-fan boy monologue, and tore him through the middle like a dinner roll.
Baby Basic Instinct
Reference humor flows through Deadpool 2 like bullets through its hero's body. So having a Basic Instinct moment where Deadpool crosses his naked legs, showing off a little bit of penis in the process, is totally on brand. So, how does this moment go the extra mile? By playing out while Deadpool is going through his regeneration phase, which means this moment is conveyed through his baby sized lower half. This anatomical anomaly is played for plenty more laughs before and after his flash, and yet this particular section breaks the ice for the entire scene.
Domino's Lucky Kill Streak At Essex House
Mentioning luck and/or manipulating probability as your superpower doesn't seem like it'd translate well on screen. So, naturally, Zazie Beetz's Domino breaks that rule, with every truck that misses her and every inflatable panda that cushions her fall. Though, the coup de grace for her action storyline has to be the showdown at the Essex House for Mutant Rehabilitation, where her powers lead to a kill chain that impales, smashes, and eliminates the orderlies that used to torture her and countless other mutants. It's satisfying, and it's also proof that you don't have to be lucky to kick ass - but it certainly helps if you are.
Juggernaut's Electric Enema
Anton Chekov once made a rule for dramatic works that stated if a gun is shown in the first act, it has to go off by the third act's resolution. Much like that, if a bare ass shows itself in the same scene as an electrical cable in a Deadpool movie, then Juggernaut's electric enema at the hands of Colossus should have been something we anticipated. But we didn't, and the impending electroshock treatment that seemed to have killed this behemoth was a moment that caused a huge laugh, and set up some fun for the very end of the film.
Dopinder Makes His First Kill
There's a darkness within Dopinder, Deadpool's friend / loyal cab driver, that's been developing since he kidnapped his romantic rival in Deadpool. Rather than forgetting this gag, and keeping his character in the background, Deadpool 2 brings that dark tendency to the forefront, as he expresses in his desire to become a contract killer. Much like Kirsten Dunst in Interview With The Vampire, he's tasted what it's like to be a violent criminal, and he wants more. Well, he got it, as he was the one to take out the headmaster of the Essex house, courtesy of his rampaging taxi. They grow up fast, don't they?
Wade's Bogus Journey
And now, we arrive at what could be Deadpool 2's best gag ever: the mid-credits scene! After Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Yukio fix Cable's time jumping hardware, Wade decides to right what once went wrong throughout the time stream. This starts with preventing Vanessa's death, and it could have ended there, but then he went and corrected two of the biggest errors in our timeline: he killed "Weapon X" from X-Men: Origins - Wolverine, and blew Ryan Reynolds' brains out all over the script to Green Lantern. Oh Deadpool... you really don't know how time travel works, but it's still so much fun to watch you potentially erase yourself.
Let us save you some time at the theater for Deadpool 2: once the mid-credits scenes are over, you're free to leave the theater. BUT, and this is a big but, you'll miss out on the final gag that the film has to deploy, via a choir singing the praises of Juggernaut. With lyrics like "Holy shitballs" and "Shit was holy!" the immense scale of Professor X's step-brother truly hits the viewer as the voices raised in reverence sing their song. Should Juggernaut return in Deadpool 3, or even X-Force, let's hope this epic theme song follows him along for the ride.