Jason London headed to the Martini Ranch in Scottsdale, Arizona looking to have a good time on Saturday night, but by the time his evening was over on Sunday morning, the Dazed and Confused actor was behind bars and covered in his own poop. Now he’s facing disorderly conduct and assault charges, as well as fighting off a mountain of publicity after his bizarre night was detailed in one of the strangest and most uncomfortable police reports ever written.

Take a look at London’s mugshot below…

According to TMZ, the night allegedly started spiraling out of control when a bouncer asked London to apologize for sneezing on him, and the actor responded by punching him in the face. After working him over, the bouncer threw him out into the street and called 911. Emergency responders arrived at the scene a few minutes later, but apparently, London wasn’t overly kind to them. The report claims he shoved and hurled abuse at them until a cop stepped in, kneeded him to the ground and threw him in a squad car.

On the way to the station, London reportedly began screaming homophobic slurs at the cops, bragging about his own fame level and uttering threats and insults. At one point, he told the officers their vehicle smelled like shit before leaning to the left and intentionally shitting his pants.

In the hours since the absurd police report went public, London has taken to Twitter to defend himself. Basically, he feels everyone is lying and out to get him. Here’s a portion of his defense
”Some guy thought I was hitting on his girl and had me jumped. My wife was in the next room, had no idea what even happened. I hate Arizona”

Maybe there’s more to this story and maybe there isn’t. Either way, if Randal “Pink” Floyd knew this is where he’d be in twenty years, I’m pretty sure he would have signed the damn drug pledge, played football and started hanging out with a different crowd.

We’ll keep you updated.

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