kai pinky swear american horror story cult

Spoiler warning for anyone who hasn't yet watched American Horror Story: Cult's latest episode, "Drink the Kool-Aid."

When tonight's episode of American Horror Story: Cult kicked off, fans got to see Evan Peters show off some more of his cult leader skills, as the actor got to portray both David Koresh and Jim Jones via mocked-up VHS footage that accompanied Kai instructing his basement-dwelling male army -- er, political movement -- about how cults worked in the past, truth notwithstanding. But those performances weren't even the most exciting and sickening moments of "Drink the Kool-Aid." After bizarrely joining Kai's cult last week, Ally finally gained control of her situation by murdering Ivy and fabricating Oz's parentage.

Let's pour ourselves a completely untainted glass of wine and start with the more straightforward moment from the episode, shall we?

After all that Jim Jones talk, Kai decided to pull a fast one on Ally, Ivy and the mentally fractured Beverly by bringing out a bunch of cups of Kool-Aid and acting as if everyone was going to drink them and go off into the wild blue-haired yonder as enlightened beings. (Not that all of the men were in on it, as one of them refused to drink it and fatally paid for his lack of faith. Sucker!) It was all a ruse, but it was more than enough to inspire the seemingly rejoined Ally and Ivy to hit the road with Oz to go somewhere far away from Kai's group. Only, those motivations got derailed by Kai and Winter, who intervened by taking Oz from school and getting him to stay in the cult house for a sleepover.

Whatever Ivy's reasoning for convincing Ally to make it happen, that was apparently the last straw and a half. Even though Ally still isn't very good about getting physically affrontive with anyone, her building rage and heartbreak combined to inspire a most deadly dinner with Ivy, in which Ally doused her wife's pasta sauce and wine with arsenic. And Ivy, sensing nothing out of the ordinary even as words got mighty rude, spent the end of that argumentative meal coughing up blood and choking on it. Not exactly compliments to the chef, but Ally's efforts were successful and worth it.

While there's always the chance that someone will end up finding Ivy's body and bringing the crime to Ally's doorstep, the fear-conquering mother actually ended up getting Kai's help in the matter. For the foreseeable future, Ivy's body will be on the floor of Kai's parents' bedroom, where lye will decompose her body just as it did the Anderson family's patriarch and matriarch. That. Room. Must. Stink. So. Bad.

Which takes us to the more bewildering narrative of the episode, involving the Senate-minded Kai trying to force a relationship with Oz, who did not have nearly enough apprehension about spending an evening with a houseful of moronic bro-dudes. But the young boy got to witness Kai's darker side after using Wikipedia to correct that Jonestown malarkey about Peoples Temple members getting resurrected. But things got weird whenever Kai attempted to convince Ally that Oz was actually his kid. Because of course Kai spent a lot of time in his early 20s making deposits to the same sperm bank that Ally went to for her artificial insemination.

Since the beginning of the season, some fans have been speculating that Kai actually is Oz's biological father, which was an easy enough prediction to make, given the scope of things. But when Ally checked up on that info by bribing the sperm clinic employee by any means necessary, the file showed that it was just some other random ass white dude who was technically Oz's father. Ally was relieved by the news, but her next move was an out-the-box one.

She invited Kai over for dinner, and it was almost too obvious that she was going to poison him in the same way she killed Ivy. To the point where she was similarly just suspiciously not eating while sipping her wine and smiling cockily at him the whole time. But that's when she confessed to killing Ivy, and then also showed Kai the doctored up sperm clinic file made to look like he actually is Oz's dad. And boy, was Kai happy about it, actually thinking that he willed it into existence just by saying it earlier. Ally clearly has a game plan in mind as far as how she's handling things here, and it will assumedly end in Kai's big, gross death. But what is she gaining by keeping him alive, and how will she manage to disperse his dipshit army? I'm hoping for a big house fire.

WTF is really going on, guys? I suppose we'll find out pretty soon, as American Horror Story: Cult only has two episodes left. Watch them Tuesday nights on FX at 10:00 p.m. ET. And be sure to hit up ourfall TV premiere schedule to see everything else that's returning and debuting on the small screen soon.

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