When you wake up in the morning, there’s no possible alarm that can give out the kind of warning that is necessary to hear this story. Lifetime has recently been busy rebranding themselves as something more than just a women-in-trouble network, and they’re reaching out to a wide irony-embracing audience with The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story, which is set to divulge the behind-the-scenes nitty gritty that went into the popular NBC series. I guess that means it’s time to watch that Dustin Diamond sex tape again for the 170th time this year.
Set to air on Monday, September 1, The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story will presumably be extremely goofy, full of top-notch fashion and will, if we're very lucky, feature gigantic mobile phones. (Maybe we'll even hear somebody talk shit about California Dreams.) According to TheWrap, Lifetime claims their TV movie will shine a spotlight on how tough it was for these six youths “growing up under public scrutiny while trying to maintain the squeaky clean image of their popular characters both on and off-screen.” But this is no Brady Bunch, and Saved by the Bell was never exactly known for its controversies; plus, nearly all of its stars have gone on to live relatively scandal-free lives.
But still, there is dirt to be unearthed, and screenwriter Ron McGee (The Nine Lives of Chloe King) and director Jason Lepeyre (I Declare War) are bringing their shovels. For a modicum of legitimacy, the producers hired the original show’s casting director Robin Lippin, who is bringing in a fresh batch of talent to play the dual roles of young stars and Bayside High School students.
Taking on the role of the smooth-talking Mark-Paul Gosselaar/Zack Morris is Dylan Everett, perhaps best known as Campbell on Degrassi: The Next Generation, while Tiera Skovbye (Supernatural) will flex her feminism muscles as Elizabeth Berkley/Jessie Spano. (“I’m so…scared!”) Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones actor Julian Works will rock a jheri curl as Mario Lopez/A.C. Slater, and Under the Bed’s Sam Kindseth will perm himself up to be Dustin Diamond/Screech Powers. And relative newcomers Taylor Russell McKenzie (Blink) will don killer fashion as Lark Voorhies/Lisa Turtle, and Alyssa Lynch (The High Jumping Witch) will presumably take over adolescent male daydreams as Tiffani-Amber Thiessen/Kelly Kapowski.
Time out! Considering Saved by the Bell made waves anew once it started airing on E! last year, it’s somewhat surprising that E!, who used to be the king of pop culture dramatizations, wasn’t the one putting this together. But we’ll give Lifetime the benefit of the doubt, considering they’ve been getting more interesting lately, with V.C. Andrews adaptations, random biopics and an impending Omen sequel. But does that mean we think it’ll be good? You'd have to be a Belding to believe something so outlandish.
So how do you guys feel about it? Let us know in the poll below.
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Nick is a Cajun Country native, and is often asked why he doesn't sound like that's the case. His love for his wife and daughters is almost equaled by his love of gasp-for-breath laughter and gasp-for-breath horror. A lifetime spent in the vicinity of a television screen led to his current dream job, as well as his knowledge of too many TV themes and ad jingles.