Subscribe To TV Recap: Big Brother 11 - Season Premiere Updates
Live feed subscription set up? Check. Big Brother 11 seasoned-passed on the Tivo? Check. Let the mayhem begin! You know it’s going to be a whacky season of BB when the first episode features someone saying “My crotch hurts so bad.” Camel-toe challenge aside, I have to say, I’m pumped for what’s to come as the eleventh season of BB gets going. Let’s start with first impressions of the houseguests:

Jeff – The adorable jocky Chicago guy. All the girls oo’ed and ah’ed as he made his introduction on the couch tonight.

Ronnie – gamer-geek – Out of everyone he seemed the most excited to be getting on the show and while I thought his dorkiness was cute at first, he’s a little irritating when he gets excited. Still, it’s the first episode and as the wife of a video-playing guy who knows his way around a computer, I can’t be too judgmental here.

Jordan – The cutesy blonde from the south. She’ll either be adorable or flaky and annoying. The jury’s still out on this one.

Natalie - The tiny ninja. She lied and said she was 18, which was a bit of a stretch. Sure, she looks young enough but her little fib about her age didn’t get passed Kevin and that could hurt her. She won a bronze medal in the jr. Olympics so she’s definitely got fitness on her side but her cockiness during the wedgie challenge might have put an early target on her back.

Kevin – gay designer – I’m assuming he’s gay, though I don’t think he actually came out and said it. I loved him for calling Natalie out about her age and for referring to Laura as “boob city.”

Chima – She’s booksmart, beautiful but has an annoying and borderline scary laugh.

Braden – Spicolli (as Casey referred to him), the surfer-dude. My first impression of him came from his description of the house: “Words can’t describe it… Superdeluscious. Super pow-wowliscious. Bam.” Apparently, real words can’t describe it but fake ones will do just fine.

Michele – Neuroscientist – downplayed her job, which was a smart decision. She seems determined to do well in this game but she strikes me as a little self-conscious. That could’ve just been first day jitters though.

Russel – beefy boxer – referred to himself as “the love mussel.” ‘Nuff said.

Laura – Has clown boobs. Sure, she’s very pretty but flaunting what God and a plastic surgeon gave her could hurt her if some of the other girls (and Kevin) feel threatened by her “assets.”

Lydia – Tattoo chick – Lydia’s got cool hair and a lot of tattoos. She said she’d be willing to hook with a guy or a girl in the house if it would help her in the game. I have a feeling this one’s going to be interesting to watch.

Casey – Resident old-guy – Casey is a teacher and a rapper/DJ. He seems relatively dorky but harmless.

After the houseguests grab their beds, they all sit around and introduce themselves to each other. Finally, a very pregnant Julie Chen announces that the house will be divided into high school-ish cliques. They’re sent outside to find out which of the HGs will be teamed up with each other. One of the first twists in the game is that when a person gets Head of Household, the other members of their clique are immune from elimination. This should be interesting as its entirely possible that not everyone in each clique will get along with each other. We’ll see about that though.

Here’s how the Cliques break down:

The Athletes: Jeff, Natalie and Russel
The Brains: Ronnie, Chima and Michele
The Populars: Braden, Jordan and Laura
The Off-Beats: Casey, Kevin and Lydia

Once they know what clique they’re in, the houseguests are rigged up into giant underpants and suspended from a big metal thing. They have to hang on to a toilet seat while the big underpants ride up their business. Julie tells them that none of them will get to be HoH but whoever lasts the longest and their clique will get a big advantage in the game. So they know there’s a thirteenth houseguest.

Julie reveals to us that Cowboy, Jessica, Brian and Jessie, all of whom are houseguests from former seasons, are waiting for a chance to return to the BB game. Each of them is in one of the four cliques, so whichever clique wins this competition, that’s who goes into the house. Cowboy took second place in his season but he was beyond whiny and of these four, he was the one I didn’t want to see get into the house. Jessica was adorable and did make the fatal error of falling for America’s Player during her season but I could take or leave her as a player in the game. That left Brian and Jessie. Brian overplayed his hand and was the first eliminated last season, whereas Jessie was an egotistical douchebag. Of the two, I would’ve wanted Brian to get back into the house as he was extremely conniving and definitely would’ve stirred things up. But Jessie making it back in could provide some hilarious bits as he’s a total meat-head and completely full of himself. That’s always good for some feed-fun.

One by one, the contestants, complaining about sore crotches and reaching behind themselves in an attempt to dig the underwear out of their backsides, drop from their toilet seats and Brian was the first to lose his shot at a being a houseguests and this season’s first HoH. The brains are out of the running, and this is followed by the off-beats, which means Cowboy’s gone too. Thank you, BB God! That leaves Jessie and Jessica waiting to learn their fate and the one of the populars and two of the athletes still hanging from their toilet seats. Finally, Braden can’t hang on any longer and he drops off, leaving the athletes to win the challenge. Jessie is going back in the house! This should be very interesting.

All in all I think this was a good start to the season. It’s always hard to tell how things are going to play out from the first episode but the Athletes have HoH now and we’ll have to wait to find out who they’re going to target this week. Will it be two people from one clique? If they’re smart, yes. No sense making enemies out of the other two cliques, right?

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