Even if you weren’t one of the 13 million souls who tuned in to watch the Two and a Half Men finale, by now you’ve probably heard that Charlie Sheen did not make a grand appearance last night. It was a bit unexpected, considering Sheen had been gunning for a role in the finale for some time and showrunner Chuck Lorre was indulging our fantasies regarding a potential Sheen return. But after the final episode ended, Lorre revealed exactly why the highly hyped cameo did not come about.
Lorre’s always been a big fan of vanity cards, and following the finale, he ran a message explaining Sheen’s absence from the Two and a Half Men finale. Basically, it seems the two men could not get on the same page. Here’s what the Two and a Half Men crew wanted Sheen to do.
For the record, he was offered a role. Our idea was to have him walk up to the front door in the last scene, ring the doorbell, then turn, look directly into the camera and go off on a maniacal rant about the dangers of drug abuse. He would then explain that these dangers only happened to average people. That he was far from average. He was a ninja assassin from Mars. He was invincible.
Unfortunately, what Lorre found to be hilarious was not exactly what Charlie Sheen had in mind when he put in a bid to return to the show that fired him back in 2011. Here’s what Charlie Sheen wanted his character to do.
Instead he wanted us to write a heart-warming scene that would set up his return to primetime TV in a new sitcom called The Harpers starring him and Jon Cryer.
Those ideas don’t line up at all, and actually just serve to highlight the underlying tensions that obviously still exist between Chuck Lorre and Charlie Sheen, despite the fact that the two were said to be “in talks” during earlier months. If you did catch the Two and a Half Men finale, you should already know that Lorre’s ideas regarding the finale still basically ended up happening, except with a Sheen look-alike rather than the real thing.
During the episode, Alan and Walden determine that Charlie Harper might, in fact, still be alive. His stalker, Rose, who initially claimed Charlie was dead, explains that she actually kept him alive in a pit in the suburbs for several years before Charlie eventually escaped. After breaking out, he turned his attentions and ire on Walden and Alan, leading to the above final scene.
It was a pretty weird way to pay homage to Charlie Sheen’s role on the series, while also kind-of shooting the actor a bit of a middle finger. Still, it was a finale that wrapped up a lot of storylines for the comedy, and ended an era on CBS.