The first thing you notice is the facial hair. How could you not? Quentin Tarantino’s cast, assembled to tell his vengeance Western The Hateful Eight, sports some of the finest on-screen lip sweaters since Martin Scorsese staged his Gangs of New York. But who rocks the best bushy beards in the bunch?

Entertainment Weekly has eight character portraits as part of their Hateful Eight preview. (We linked to the cover the other day.) Let’s meet each cast member, and rank their complete facial extravaganza, using a scale of 1 through 5 – with one being relatively fresh-faced, and 5 being Galdalf the Grey.

Kurt Russell
John Ruth (Kurt Russell)
What’s his role? Also known as "The Hangman," Ruth is a mean son of a bitch who is riding toward the town of Red Rock with a female bounty in tow. That murderous prisoner is named Daisy Domergue, and we’ll learn more about her in a bit.

How’s his facial hair? He gets a 4. Russell’s no stranger to a mustache, and he sports a lengthy handlebar here that’s a nice salt-and-pepper shade. He loses a point for the stubble on his chin, which creates a bit of a soul patch and prevents Ruth from rocking a full facial sweater.

Sam Jackson
Major Marquis Warren (Samuel L. Jackson)
What’s his role? Seeing as how Tarantino is setting his drama in the years following the Civil War, regular QT collaborator Sam Jackson’s playing a former Union officer who now spends his days in the frozen mountains of Wyoming. When trouble comes a’calling, though, you better be sure that Warren – aka "The Bounty Hunter" – knows how to handle himself… and his firearms.

How’s his facial hair? It’s a 3. Partially because his chin is obscured in this first-look photo by a scarf. But Sam’s facial hair looks manicured and in check in this pic. He also looks so damn cold!

Jennifer Jason Leigh
Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh)
What’s her role? Before you could say "Sausage Party," Tarantino introduces Daisy, the detained prisoner in John Ruth’s charge. She goes by the obvious nickname of "The Prisoner" is Tarantino’s script, and EW warns us that just because she’s handcuffed doesn’t mean she has been neutralized.

How’s her facial hair? Nonexistent, which means she gets a 1, though it’s worth noting that Ruth probably had to administer a beating or two to keep Domergue in line. Look at the bruises on her battered cheek and eye.

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