Just ahead of the November release of the Xbox One and PS4, the Big 'N' put on its big boy pants, whipped out a hammer and dialed 911 early... why? Because Nintendo is about to knock out two scrubs with a one-two combo.
Following on the news that the Wii U's week-ending sales originally skyrocketed 685% like Anthony Weiner downing a Cialis and Viagra vodka combo, Nintendo let the news fly loose to GamesIndustry.biz that they are in it to win it and whether people want to hate on them or not, they're back to conquer the sales charts like a postmortem Tupac album.
According to the general press info, the Wii U has seen a sales boost of over 200% throughout the month of September compared to August, which almost as much as the boost the Wii U got from Microsoft from the Xbox One reveal. The boost comes courtesy of Nintendo's $50 price slash on the Wii U's deluxe bundle and packaging Wind Waker HD in with the console.
This is amazing news for Nintendo as it shows that despite all the negativity circulated by fanboys with Jimmies more rustled than a Republican forced to use Obamacare, the Wii U is still a console to be tolerated and is a legitimate next-gen competitor heading into the fall console war that gets underway this November once Black Friday kicks off the throwdown.
Now, the only drawback to this news is that Nintendo didn't release any hard numerical facts for Nintendo fanboys to bounce around in the system wars boards as evidence that the Wii U is actually beating the pants off the other home consoles on the market. But that's okay, we all know that the geriatric 7th gen twins are on life-support and the only thing that kept them moving consoles throughout the end of the summer was GTA V, which was basically like giving a dying heroin addict one last shot before going out with a whimper and a sigh.
Still, we at least know for a fact that the Wii U has elevated itself out of the “abysmal” territory it was wandering around in during the mid-summer, like a blind motorcycle enthusiast skipping around a beehive because it sounds like the hum of a 200cc motor.
The good part is that Nintendo's powers that be finally stopped acting like glue-sniffing delinquents and moved on to crack-snorting gangsters, ready to put out some fierce competition and put down opponents like Texas NRA members putting down illegal Mexican immigrants.
Nintendo has a solid fall line-up headed up by Nintendo's bread and butter maker, the big beautiful plumber known as Mario. This doogie dumper will be heading back to the sewers with his friends on November 22nd with Super Mario 3D World, this is followed up with Nintendo's own Wii Fit U, which is bound to move massive units with people who have no interest in games but just want to pretend that by owning a fitness program they might be able to lose some weight (sorry to be the bearer of bad news but a few bumps and grinds with a Wii U game isn't going to get rid of that badonkadonk butt.)
Nevertheless, with titles like Wii Sports Club and Wii Party U to help round out the first party offerings, Nintendo is likely to have the casual sector all wrapped up. Thankfully they also have strong third-party support from Ubisoft and Activision to help cater to the testosterone-driven teenagers who count their success on being able to “lift” and their kill/death ratio.
Whether or not those games will be enough to justify Nintendo's call to 911 for a double homicide remains to be seen, but at least we know that the Big 'N' is back in it to win it.
Staff Writer at CinemaBlend.
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