Good day, collectors of all things invokable. Some of you may have noticed The Fear Monger wasn’t creeping around the website last weekend, and maybe you feared the worst and thought that it was dead and quartered, laid out to fertilize the land where a garden of eternally rotten vegetables would grow. Maybe some of you even hoped that had happened. It’s good to be back.

But before we get carried away, let’s talk about some of the week’s smaller headlines: Paramount has pushed Paranormal Activity 5 back to an unspecific date in 2016. (Sweet!) David Lynch’s nightmarish debut feature Eraserhead is being added to the Criterion Collection, and the special edition Blu-ray (with restored versions for six of Lynch’s short films) will be released on September 16th. Music legend Iggy Pop has signed on to star in Dario Argento’s next feature, The Sandman, though no details are known. And finally, some astute Imgur user recently posted a map of the U.S., with a horror movie to represent each state. Feel free to rant and rave over the choices and how correct they are, since we didn’t make this image.

horror map

And now, I think I hear a familiar tune being played. Chh-chh-chh-chh. Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh.

Friday the 13th
Next Friday the 13th Movie Will Be in 3D
Jason Voorhees is going to get all up in your face for the next Friday the 13th installment, as Paramount recently revealed at CineEurope that the sequel (or whatever it is) will get the 3D treatment. I’m both extremely excited about it, as 3D horrors are almost always enjoyably embarrassing projects. Come to think of it, I'm equally uneasy about it for the same reason. Let’s not forget those found footage rumors, which would make this one scratch-and-sniff card away from being the most gimmicky movie ever.

Friday the 13th, which reportedly has The Signalco-director David Bruckner at the head, would be the second 3D movie in the franchise, as the vapid and goofy Friday the 13th Part III made viewers don the multi-colored eyewear back in 1982. This second trip to the third dimension wouldn’t have to work very hard to be better than that one, and they’ll hopefully film the entire thing in 3D, rather than just post-converting it after filming is complete. Whichever way it goes, I’m going to be in the theater with everybody else on November 13, 2015, hooting and dodging digitally created blood splatter.

dead rising
Lots of Zombies Will Die in Non-Theatrical Feature Adaptation of Dead Rising
Everybody is quick to talk about Netflix, Hulu and Amazon being the kings of original streaming projects, but we need to start putting more focus on Crackle, which has the advantage of being free for all users. The service will be the first to stream Legendary Digital Media’s feature-length take on the bestselling Capcom video game series Dead Rising. World War Z meets Dawn of the Dead? One can dream, so long as one is holed up securely in a zombie-free environment.

Dead Rising, which hasn’t yet found its director, will be produced by the action-centric Lorenzo di Bonaventura (Transformers) and scripted by Tim Carter, who wrote the recent crime game Sleeping Dogs. According to Variety, the story will follow four people trying to survive a zombie outbreak, not helped along by a government-ordered vaccine that fails to stop the spread of the infection. The government may or may not be involved, which means they’re totally involved. Following its initial run on Crackle, Dead Rising will then be released on VOD, DVD and TV outlets. Here’s hoping they stick to the darkly comedic feel of the first game, where anything becomes a weapon and no death is too disgusting.

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