Let’s call a spade a spade here: Sex and the City is a chick flick, pure and simple. The primary characters: four women. The plot: a wedding. The delivery: female perspective on relationships and emotions over girly drinks. By no means is this a manly movie, yet this weekend men will be driven to see the film, mostly by girlfriends and wives and the short leashes they keep their men on.
We don’t want you to fall prey to the same threat that so many will succumb to this weekend, so we at Cinema Blend have put together our top five excuses for men to get out of seeing Sex and the City: The Movie. We can’t guarantee any of them will work, but at the very least they’ll help communicate your lack of interest in Carrie Bradshaw and her girls.
Number 5: The TBS episodes don’t count.
Trying to familiarize newbies with the characters and content of the show, many have turned to the daily aired episodes on TBS. Don’t be fooled – that’s not really Sex and the City. The Turner Network has taken an hourlong adult HBO series and trimmed it down, both because of content and because they need to insert commercial breaks. I have it on good authority that the shows that air on TBS don’t even come close to capturing what the phenomenon of Sex and the City is. If you’re not seeing the real deal in preparation for the movie, how can anyone truly be prepared for what the film will bring? It’s a weak excuse, especially because it means you have to endure watered down versions of the show, but that’s why we put it at the lowest on our list.
Number 4: Make it up to her with a double feature
If you go see Sex and the City in theaters you’re going to be laughed at by all of the guys who managed to get out of it. However, nobody knows what goes on in the privacy of your own home. Make a deal with your woman that gets you out of seeing Sex and the City in return for watching a few chick flicks at home. Sure, you might have to put up with watching several movies instead of only one, but at least it’s not in public. Additionally, you might be able to distract the attention away from the movie by taking advantage of the tone of the evening to put some moves on. We can’t guarantee you’ll wind up with sex and the city, but at least you’ll avoid the movie version.
Number 3: The Metrosexual is officially out!
Women had their chance to drag guys into theaters a few weeks ago for the romantic comedy Made of Honor, featuring a guy who is such a close friend to a woman that she asks him to be her bridesmaid. Nobody wanted to see Patrick Dempsey play the sensitive best friend there, so why would it be cool for guys to see such a chick-laden flick this weekend? Guys in touch with women’s feelings isn’t cool anymore. The movies have proven it, which leads us to…
Number 2: It’s the guys’ turn.
For years women have been harassing guys to get in touch with their own feelings so we can better communicate with our loved ones. Well, we’re doing it. Thanks in particular to Judd Apatow, it’s now okay for guys to figure out their own feelings, and it’s okay for the more sensitive emotions to be mixed in with sophomoric impulses. I’m not sure women are as okay with that, however. Most of the guys I know loved Knocked Up while women don’t quite get it. Even worse, women didn’t let guys drag them to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which really put dudes in touch with their emotions, so why should men be forced to see Sex and the City?
Number 1: There are too many other testosterone-charged options in theaters.
Seriously, what guy in his right mind is going to go see four women talk about their sexual prowess and desires when he can go right down the hall and see hyper-frenetic racing in Speed Racer, explosions galore in Iron Man, and the return of one of the manliest figures of all time in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Even the Dungeons & Dragons type sensitive geek has Prince Caspian to see. Offer to see one of these other movies that your woman may not be interested in, while she gallivants off to see her girls’ big screen debut by herself. Heck, make it sound like you’re doing her a favor, saving her from having to sit through one of your macho popcorn flicks. Only we have to know that all you’ve really done is save yourself.
In case our list isn’t comprehensive enough, include your excuses to avoid seeing Sex and the City: The Movie in our comments below. Who knows, maybe you’ll help save another man from suffering a fate worse than Merchant Ivory.