They don't call him Franchise Viagra for nothing! If you need some serious spice to save your franchise, then there's only one guy to call: The Rock. Dwayne Johnson has saved more than his fair share of sequels, using his natural leading man charisma and action prowess to turn himself into the most sought after man in Hollywood. The Rock probably to go through tons of different pitches, and not all of them can be great. Check out this video of The Rock getting pitched ideas for hilarious sequels that not even The Rock would be able to save.
Thanks to GQ for making this video, we now know what The Rock would look like as Napoleon Dynamite. The short video finds The Rock meeting with his agent (Titus Burgess!) to discuss his next project. His agent as selected some scripts that he thinks are real winners, and they all happen to be sequels. However, after picturing them in his head, Dwayne Johnson can't exactly see them being good ideas. First, he's pitched on a sequel to Goodfellas, where he plays the illegitimate son of Joe Pesci's character who moves to Queens to try and make it as a stand-up comedian. Problem is, he shares his father's hatred of being called funny, which doesn't exactly make for a good comedian. It is, however, hilarious to watch Johnson dressed as Pesci on steroids getting furious over a compliment.
Next up, someone wants The Rock to play the lead in Home Alone: They Forgot My Ass Again. Didn't we say everything that needed to be said with the third Home Alone? Yes, which is why this one has a twist: this time the burglars are the kids. That would mean The Rock would have to wound children with goofy yet sadistic traps, so again, not a great idea.
Following that, The Revenant is getting a sequel from the writers of The Notebook, but The Rock isn't down with having sex with animals so that's out too. Finally, the best was saved for last: Napolean Dynamite 2. Jon Heder was apparently not available and The Rock was asked to wear the wig and glasses. We're then treated to The Rock doing the dance at the end of Napolean Dynamite for 10 seconds. Needless to say, The Rock is firing his agent.
The Rock doesn't need these movies anyway, because he is the single busiest man in Hollywood. The list of his upcoming projects include this month's Baywatch, Rampage, a Jumanji sequel, the Hobbs/Shaw Fast and Furious spin-off, Journey 3, San Andreas 2, Big Trouble in Little China, and a future as Black Adam in the DCEU, to only name literally a few of his projects.
You can next see Dwayne Johnson in Baywatch, out later this month on May 25.