Listen, even if you don't like Aubrey Plaza and don't care about the Oscars or other awards shows, you have to admit this Harry Potter joke is classic:
The Favourite is here, nominated for best international film. It was directed by Yorgos Lanthimos, which also happens to be one of Harry Potter's spells. You just shout 'Yorgos Lanthimos!' and someone gets fingered in a corset.
It's probably even true. Aubrey Plaza's opening monologue was filled with little jokes like that -- and while many of them (like that one) were probably too raunchy for the Oscars, plenty of them would've fit right in. Here's a sampling:
• The network's first choice was No One, but they're already booked for tomorrow. So you've got me.
• I actually do care about independent films, especially when they're fighting against each other. Oh yes. This could be the day that Won't You Be My Neighbor finally tears the dick off of Hale County This Morning, This Evening. Oh my God, what will happen?
• Joaquin Phoenix is here from his beard trilogy. I'm Still Here. You Were Never Really Here. And the upcoming Sir, You Cannot Sleep Here.
• BlacKkKlansman is nominated. BlacKkKlansman explores the struggle of a black police officer to find his role in the fight against white supremacy. So congratulations to the sole nominee from that film today, Adam Driver. [Cut to a laughing Adam Driver.] Adam, we're so proud of you. You were the best one. I'm sure they'll do the white thing.
John Waters got in a great little dig, too, from backstage as the guy Aubrey hired to "direct" the show:
Well, it's television, Aubrey. Like Bohemian Rhapsody it doesn't really have a director.
Burn. Check out the whole monologue:
Speaking of Aubrey Plaza and Parks and Rec, she brought her old co-star Jim O'Heir back for this classic parody of Netflix's Fyre festival documentary:
You know the real guy he's spoofing, right? Apparently Andy King begged the Fyre filmmakers to cut that infamous scene.
Anyway, the 2019 Oscars air tonight without an official host. It's not clear yet how they're going to handle it. It may be the best show ever without a host, since monologues can take about 10 minutes of air time. The Oscars is still meant to last more than three hours this year, since they couldn't convince anyone to go for that idea of taping some of the categories during commercial breaks.
But since finding a host seems to be difficult these days, consider keeping Aubrey Plaza on the list. Amy Poehler has shown that Parks and Rec hosts can do a great job, and Aubrey is bizarre enough to lean into anything that goes wrong during a telecast, just adding to the awkward entertainment. The Oscars deserves that.
The 91st Academy Awards airs Sunday, February 24 at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.